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Original poster

How get a 6 year old to cope with a disappointment

14 replies

Rieble · 09/05/2023 15:23

My 6yr old DD has been working towards performing at a local theatre all year and will continue to do so until October. But we have now had a wedding invite on the day of the performance from my SIL. We are obviously going to the wedding and will be letting my DD and her theatre class know that she won’t be able to perform anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how best to break this to my DD?

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takealettermsjones · 09/05/2023 16:37

Is there only one performance?

I think I'd let her choose tbh.

StopGrowingPlease · 09/05/2023 17:09

I’d much rather watch my child do something they loved and worked really hard for than take them to a wedding where they most likely be bored and upset 🤷‍♀️

DukeOfEdinburgh · 09/05/2023 17:11

If she’s made a commitment to the show, she should do that rather than the wedding.

Any way you can do both?

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NoKnit · 09/05/2023 19:59

Why can't you ask one of the other mothers to take her to the performance of that is what your daughter wants? This seems very unfair on her

SellFridges · 09/05/2023 20:02

It’s the child’s Aunt’s wedding. Of course the family will go to that rather than the performance.

OP, I would just explain and remind her there will be many opportunities as she grows for things like this but only one opportunity to go to her Aunt’s wedding.

Mumsnet is bonkers sometimes.

drpet49 · 09/05/2023 20:05

SellFridges · 09/05/2023 20:02

It’s the child’s Aunt’s wedding. Of course the family will go to that rather than the performance.

OP, I would just explain and remind her there will be many opportunities as she grows for things like this but only one opportunity to go to her Aunt’s wedding.

Mumsnet is bonkers sometimes.

This

Temporaryname158 · 09/05/2023 20:05

Just be factual.

sorry dd, you can still practice with the group and learn all the songs but Aunty so and so is getting married that day and so we will be at her wedding.

end of. If she causes a big upset I think you need to talk to her about how she behaves. It would be normal to be disappointed for example, but if you are expecting tears and tantrums then that isn’t normal

GoodChat · 09/05/2023 20:06

Just tell her. She may well be excited to get dressed up and go to a wedding. Deal with the disappointment if it comes.

VioletCharlotte · 09/05/2023 20:07

What time is the wedding and what time is the show? Is that theatre near to the theatre? If it's logistically possible in anyway, I would try and get her there. My DS used to do shows, it's so important to them and I'm sure she'll be so upset if she had to miss out. If it's not possible to do both, I would give her the option of someone else taking her to the show so it's her decision.

Ilovetea42 · 09/05/2023 20:12

Is your child in the wedding? If it's important to her and she's worked hard at it I'd be inclined to send your partner to the full wedding and if its close by enough you join after the performance for the reception, or you attend as much of the day as you can and then go early for the performance? Would that be possible?

If she's in the wedding then it's understandable she can't go so I'd big up her role and all the exciting bits about it. I'd also speak to the facilitator and see if they're only doing a one off performance or could she perform on another night so she still gets the chance?

DragonbornMum · 09/05/2023 20:18

Oof that's so unfortunate that they clash! You've been given some good advice already, but I just wanted to suggest something. On the day, maybe your daughter could dress up in her fancy wedding clothes and (privately) perform her piece while you video it? Might make a nice wedding gift for her aunt, and that way all her hard work practicing doesn't go to waste.

Original poster
Rieble · 09/05/2023 21:23

Unfortunately not possible to do both as the wedding is a 6hr drive from the Theatre.

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Mumof1andacat · 09/05/2023 21:25

Could not one of the other parents in the group not have her for the day and night? You could return the favour another weekend

SilverPeacock · 09/05/2023 21:38

She’ll get over it OP. Just big up the wedding, and how she’ll get dressed up and have cake or whatever.

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