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Parenting

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XDH Missing

1 reply

fedup4321 · 09/05/2023 09:38

I have one DD who is 15. I divorced my ex-DH 8 years ago. He wasn't interested in family life and mostly focused on work. Since we separated I have had to frequently hassle him to call and contact our DD but she'd normally hear from him every week or so. They always get on well when they see each other. Me and my fiancee also get on well with him. To the point that he looked after our cat last summer and we exchange Christmas gifts. Contact started to drop off when he met his current girlfriend 2 years ago. DD hasn't heard from him since January. We have both tried to call, text and email multiple times but no reply. I called my ex-MIL and she said he was probably depressed (he suffers from this) and she'd heard from him on mothers day. He is still paying child maintenance every month. He was annoyed it increased in January but I sent him the list of everything I pay for which comes to the amount he pays and he seemed okay with it then. DD is devastated - crying a lot and generally very down. I don't know what to do. I don't want to call ex-MIL again as she isn't well. Do we try and write to him? He lives 1.5 hours drive away. I'm veering between being angry with him and feeling sorry for him if he is depressed again. DD has asked to see her therapist again that she saw after Covid for anxiety so I'm going to organise that. Any ideas on how to reach him? Or should I just drop it?

OP posts:
Isheabastard · 09/05/2023 09:59

If your Dd is upset, then I wouldn’t drop it. Is she worried something has happened to him, or upset he is ignoring her?

I think I would keep pursuing it. Would she ring her grandmother, if not then you could ring her again.

Ultimately if he doesn’t reply I believe you can ask the police to do a welfare check. He’s either being incredibly selfish towards his Dd or is perhaps in crisis. But I think you need to find out for yourDds sake.

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