Ex is threatening to take me to court and then changed

[Babygirlmum]

My ex is threatening to take me to court over DD firstly, he walked out of our life when I was pregnant and refused to be a part of DDs life and said that he was never going to be her dad, when DD was three months old I applied for CM and magically he got in contact and wanted to see her, after a lot of thought I let him meet her and he was seeing her every few weeks not consistently, bare in mind his mum told me to get an abortion when I was 6 months pregnant and was being nasty and manipulative towards me, after he met her he asked could his parents I allowed his parents to her first birthday party and his mum magically loves DD now and all because I refused for her to stay over the night bare in mind he lives two hours away from me as it was a long distance relationship which I think his mum wanted to take over my baby as she's a controlling person, he said see you in court I stopped speaking to him thinking I was getting ready for court thinking that is what is going to happen, he went to mediation and I have since refused mediation as I don't think it would be benefit our situation as apparently the mediator she they don't see the problem with DD staying over baring in mine they are all strangers to her she's met her dad a hand full of times and his parents ones in a whole year of her being born, they are being possessive, since me refusing mediation BD has gotten in contact with me being overly nice saying I am a part of his family and always will be and all sorts of stuff but then will say I am taking you to court and over the weekend he's been asking me a bunch of questions asking if I have slept with other men after him and getting angry with me about it and asking me multiple questions and then would tell me he is taking me to court like I am very confused what is wrong with this lad I am really getting annoyed with it all I don't need the stress I am going through so it as it is.

And breathe. Some punctuation would have helped but I think I got the gist.

First of all keep on with your application for CM, he needs to step up and support his child financially, and it isn’t a case of “I give you money so I get access” , it is a moral obligation.

Second of all keep a note of all contact he makes with you, phone, text, WhatsApp. ditto other members of his family. If his messages are abusive, demanding or threatening you can show them in court to let them know why you are reluctant to allow unrestricted access.

Keep a record of visits he makes ( include any promised visits that don’t materialise)

Dont dismiss mediation, if he does take you to court to apply for access to your child then you refusing to mediate won’t look good. A mediator should be neutral, the mediation is not for point scoring it is sorting out what is the best outcome for your child.

If he does end up being awarded access then because of the distance I think it would be fair to insist that initial contact is at a contact centre since your child is very young and has not built up any sort of relationship with him, and that overnights are at present not possible due to the distance.

The fact is he is could be part of your child’s life for the next 17 years, how that pans out will very much depend on how you manage to work together as adults. It could be that he loses interest fairly soon, as many do, or he could turn out to be a supportive dad and an important part of her life.

Stop responding to personal messages keep it all child focused he is not your partner or your friend