Birthday party travel

[Magnificentbeast]

I know I'm being a bit of a misery about this but I just need to get it off my chest.

My 8yo dc has just given me a birthday invitation from her school friend and it's miles away. We live on the far west of a large city and the venue is in the far north. An hours drive around the city or 90 mins each way on public transport. I'm not a confident driver so it'll be the public transport option if we go. Most likely we'll end up going but I just cannot be bothered!

I don't really know the child or parents and they probably have their reasons for choosing this venue. To be fair there isn't a huge choice around where we are.

I know I can turn the invitation down but I'd feel bad for DC. It's different if we already had plans.

I'm just not thrilled at the prospect of the trek it will be.

Could you ask another parent for a lift? Or make a day of it in the other part of the city so you’re not just there for the party?

Imo the whole point of having a driving licence is to make your life easier...
How will you ever become a better driver if you don't drive?

We travel 45mins-1hr for parties as there is a big spread in locations.

Perhaps they live closer to the venue than you expected?

It's fine to say no to the party, but equally I think you need to own the fact that your anxiety over driving is what's leading you to say no.

I am also an anxious driver with new routes but I also hate that it has a hold over me and force myself to do it. I will plan ahead for certain junctions which helps, and always use a satnav.

Thank you for responding. They're all valid points. I'm just having a moan really. It's really quite a random location from where we live. Assuming as they attend my dc's school, they would live within the quite small catchment. They most likely have family over that way. Obviously totally their choice on where to have the party. I'm not saying no. I'm just mulling things over. I've never declined an invitation for my kids based on location. Only on whether or not we're available.

I hate my anxiety about driving. I wish I was someone who could just hop in the car and not worry about it but I'm not. I do what I can though.

I'll check the route and see what I can do from there.

Just to wish you luck with your decision.

I also hate my driving anxiety, and hate how it makes me change plans. It is improving, and is now very specific to certain journey types. I do actually think I'm a decent driver and I drive every day for school run and commute.

The only thing that's worked for me is planning ahead as much as possible, taking practical steps to avoid my worst worry (parking) and actually doing those journeys that make my tummy flip.

Slowly, journey by journey I get braver. I've even done 8hr cross country journeys solo with kids.

I also remind myself that being brave is doing something even though it makes you scared

Thank you for your kind words @SaltyGod.