Neighbours

[Julie1994]

My kids want to play with the new neighbours round there house because next doors kids keep asking and I felt bad if I said no I tried but didn't feel comfortable I would rather them play in the front garden where I can see them does that make me a bad person

Why don't you feel comfortable? I believe in listening to your gut but is there something you can pinpoint. Would going to meet the parents help? I don't think it's a problem to say to stay outside if you're more comfortable with it. You're not stopping them playing.

I don't want to sound racist but they don't speak english only their kids do so I can't communicate with them only the kids so it makes me uncomfortable because I can't talk to them and when every my kids are out of my sight I panic

I panic alot if I can't see my kids and not being able to speak to the parents makes it worse because makes things really uncomfortable

I wouldn't let that they don't speak English stop my kids going. Not that alone. I can't say if you're right or wrong to not let your kids go over there. I don't know the people involved. Some people have a blanket outdoor only policy as they think it's safer. Some are more relaxed. You say you panic a lot about your kids. That can be unhealthy if it stops your children from having normal experiences and relationships. Are you very anxious in all contexts, or just around the neighbourhood?

How old are your kids?

I get like it if I don't know someone and where they don't speak any English it's hard to try and talk to them to see if they are OK with the kids playing with theirs and I like to get to know someone before I let my kids out of my sight

She's only 4 the two oldest don't want to play next door their more for their scooters and playing outside

At four I would definitely want to be able to see them at all times. If they were at the neighbour's I'd want to know the parent was full supervising. So I think you are reasonable.

I am fine with her going round her friends house because I know the mum well just don't feel comfortable with her round neighbour because don't know them just can't sleep because I feel like I will upset the kids next door if I say no to her going round there but she so young

I thought you had kids 11 plus originally. But 4. Foreign or not they don't go out of your sight. But then make an effort to communicate with neighbours and become friends

Have tried to communicate with them and be friendly am friendly with everyone but they ain't bothered so makes me not feel safe with my kids going round their the kids are lovely next door but don't get a good feeling about their parents

Would love to make friends with them am friends with all my other neighbours but they seem to not be bothered

Have their kid(s) to your house then you can keep an eye on your DD, or just say play out the front, that's reasonable.

I was thinking that if I said they could play in the front garden with my kids that wouldn't sound to bad then because then I can keep an eye on them and they can still play together

I have tried communicating but they don't know what I am saying so it hard to communicate if you know what I mean

Thank you everyone for your advice has helped alot

Tell their kids that's what your DC are allowed to do. They can the explain to their parents. If you build a friendship with the parents ever, then things may change but for now I would do this and see how it goes.

No, I wouldn’t let a child that young visit any house where I didn’t know the parents well.

As for communicating, do you have a smart phone? There are great apps for translating speech, like google translate. Not perfect but very helpful.

Thanks didn't think of that

Thank you