Competitive Parenting/ Multiple Activities

[Gardendad]

Hello
I am a first time poster. My wife and I have 2 kids, 13 and 16. Over the last year or two as they progress through school I have noticed they are pretty self sufficient, not so interested in socialising. They seem happy, good in school, usual teenage blips but otherwise fine.
My question is- most of our friends kids who they are friends with seem to be on a mad rollercoaster of activities. Most weekends are full and so they dont see their friends as much. My daughters friend will do 6 activities spread over the whole weekend, extra classes, coaching. her day could start at 7am and finish at 7pm with 300km driven in a weekend.
My wife and I are pretty relaxed about activities, our daughter swims(with a team but does not compete) and rides her pony and my son rides horses- so not tons of things . We are lucky to have use of a grandparents field so not mega rich horsey set!
Now I worry that we should have got our kids to do more stuff, try more things, that they are missing out etc. My wife thinks its not a problem.
Lots of other parents seem to dedicate their lives to their kids being competitive.
Any thoughts?
Thank you.

If they are happy and doing something they like outside of school other than just gaming, I think you are winning.

It’s not necessarily about being competitive. Some kids enjoy doing a bunch of different things and some parents are in a position to make that happen. If your kids are happy and thriving I wouldn’t worry too much about what their friends are doing.

Thanks to both posters above. I guess my fear is that we were not/are not proactive enough in introducing them to activities. I do understand of course that there is a big focus on hyper sociability, being offered lots of opportunities etc. Being around friends who spend all their time bringing kids to everything makes me feel that we are a little flaky, that they miss out on the social group aspect of the activity. I do know lots of the kids dont enjoy all their activities though. Plus theres the time aspect- one of my sons friends does 23 hours a week swimming... Lots of room for introverts in the world too tho I guess.

Horse riding is a pretty full on hobby. My dc also swim (once a week) and do brownies and guides but it's a stretch to fit it all in around their pony who takes up a huge amount of time after schools and weekends. I'd say it's several hobbies in one as you aren't just turning up and having an hour lesson then leaving. It's pretty much a lifestyle

@liveforsummer thats a great point. They both compete a few times a month and ride daily so thats their big thing. Its very solitary I guess so not super sociable but they love it and have a small circle of friends through that. It is a lifestyle. Thanks for your post.

Swimming is not sociable at all really. That kid will have his head underwater for the majority of those 23 hours. Although there is banter in the changing rooms and time to chat at galas, social development is not prioritised in competitive swimming.

Could your kids not go to a riding club if you are worried they are not making friends through horses?