Please help - baby will only accept me

[Diamond345]

I have a 3 month old baby, he will only accept me to settle him when upset, he is generally a happy baby but gets upset in evenings at times. I can quickly settle him, but DP cannot. When DP tries without my intervention it can go on for 40 mins of screaming, its unbearable i cant stand this.

It also happens when DP does the bedtime routine, the screaming starts from baby out of nowhere. For me baby does not do this.

We just dont know what else to try, DP is very present at home he also WFH and spends 1-1 time with baby during the day and at weekends. How can i help baby get past this? I do understand the reasons why babies do this.

i’m looking for help from those who have overcome this , i feel like i cant go anywhere at present in the evenings :-( and keen to nip this in the bud!

It's so hard when baby only wants you! As you've said you already know the reasons behind it, it's totally normal behaviour. At 3 months old you're only just coming out of the fourth trimester. Baby literally still feels like they are part of you. I don't think unfortunately it's something you can, or need, to 'nip in the bud'. My son was exactly the same and it was so hard and exhausting but he grew out of it at around 5 months I think it was and fully accepted dad settling him. It will pass, just give it a bit of time 🙂

I don't think we overcame it more my son grew out of it. My second would as a newborn would settle quicker for me.

But it didn't last forever and then my partner could do bedtime without me.

My second shows a huge preference for me if I am in the house. So he screams for me to do bedtime if I am home.

However my partner has said he is a delight if I am not home and there are no tantrums. So it doesn't stop me having a life outside the home. I just recognise if I am home - he wants my attention.

It will get easier

@gentlemum im relieved to hear things got better for your partner

@lifehappens12 when did things change for you?

It can be tough when they just want mum, lovely as that is. Is it possible to increase the amount of time in the day/evening with dad when baby is happy? I find the more time they spend together generally, the quicker this reduces. It’s much easier to increase the other bits first (rather than the unsettled sleep part) and then work towards that as baby gets that bond with dad. It does tend to pass naturally, but the more time spent together seems to soften it ime.

My son was the same and I was bf so I had the food. Was about 5 months before it improved

I just wanted to add an update that DS is now 8 months and is very happy with his dad.

From around 5 months things got better, i can now go out!!