Child’s friends parent is toxic friend

[Jazzhands7]

My kid has a great friend that they want to see all the time. However the parent of that child is pretty toxic. When we first met we became friends but it was pretty obvious after awhile that this parent was toxic. It was a very one sided relationship and their behaviour was (and still is) pretty crappy.

If I didn’t have a child I’d cut them off but my kid loves her kid and they get on like a house on fire. Their kid is an awesome human being and I don’t mind having them around but their parent stuffs me around a lot still and blames said stuffing around on how hectic their life is (they are constantly making not the best choices).

I guess I’m asking if any of you have been in this situation and how you manage energetically and don’t get so emotionally drained. I think because we were previously friends I still get triggered by them and a lot of the time. I’m only cultivating this relationship for my kid but for me it’s a real downer.

How old are the kids? Do you need to arrange things for them?

If so keep it brief, you don't need to socialise with her. Just say woukd x like to come over, I'll drop him back at 7pm etc

Get really clear (for yourself) about what you get from the relationship and what you’re willing to give. And then you have to decide to look after yourself and act accordingly.

So maybe that means declining any invites to hang out together with the mum, but invite the child round to play with your child as pp said.