Is this PND?

[Dandelioncl0ck]

I've written a thread on here before about how I was feeling stupid about how tough I've found the newborn phase when a friend of mine seems to be finding it so easy. I saw that friend today and although it's so silly I just felt really bad about myself afterwards. She was squeezing in a visit to me alongside going to a gallery with her baby and then to the pub and out for dinner whilst I spent the day battling trying to get DD to nap ( we've hit the dreaded 4 month regression, suddenly nothing works, I'm absolutely exhausted from pounding the streets with the pram/ sling only to get a 20 minute sleep). She just seemed so confident and capable whilst I feel like a flustered mess in comparison.

Anyway after she had gone I just felt really upset and have been crying on and off all afternoon/ evening, feeling like a failure that I'm not doing a better job coping. And now can't get baby to sleep and doubting my ability as a mum and partner (not giving DP enough time or attention as just desperate to go to sleep as soon as he's back from work). It's so ridiculous as I don't want to be jealous of my friend and its not her fault. DP has suggested I speak to the GP as he thinks I might have PND as I keep having these wobbles. I have been dwelling on my difficult pregnancy and birth and a bereavement I suffered before too. Is this PND or just normal and I'm overreacting? I feel really embarrassed that I'm struggling like this

It might be PND, it certainly sounds similar to how I was feeling when I was diagnosed with PND. Please, book an appointment with the gp. I would suggest you get someone to watch the baby while you go to it so you can focus on your needs only, and tell the gp what you've said here. The gp can help, I was prescribed sertraline, and it worked brilliantly for me. It made me much more functional and evened me out, I was just able to cope a lot better.

I will say this though, every baby is different and every mother and baby experience is different. Please try not to compare yourself to your friend, for one thing you're only seeing what she's showing you, the rest of the story may be very different, and for another, her having an apparently easy time of it has absolutely no relevance to you, your baby, or your parenting.

@katmarie thank you for replying, I've spoken to the GP after talking things through with my partner and she's referring me to counselling and recommended mindful mums group. I feel a weight has been lifted from just opening up about how I was feeling to someone and knowing that there's support out there. Just want to be able to enjoy my baby without these constant weird mood swings.

I know I'm also my own worst enemy with the comparing thing, I know it's bad but just get really stuck in a loop with it. I think maybe because I've been a bit lonely and was looking forward to spending time with this friend once she had her baby but she's so busy I feel like an obligation to be ticked off which is really unfair on her as I'm sure that's not the case!