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Is it possible for sleep training to not work?

30 replies

Dinosaur27 · 02/05/2023 08:38

So I’ve posted before about this but wanted some more advice.
I have been sleep training my baby for about a month now but it hasn’t made much difference with wake-ups.
The progress we’ve made is that he now takes all his naps in his cot and falls asleep in his cot for bedtime.
I’ve noticed that when I put him down for bedtime, he doesn’t wake for mostly 2-3 hours after, which is a definite improvement I guess because before it was 45 mins-1hour before. But after that first stretch, he is still waking every hour or so and ends up in my bed at some point.
I guess I’m confused as to how this works because my understanding was that sleep training helps baby fall asleep independently so if that’s the case then why is he still waking a lot??

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CatOnTheChair · 02/05/2023 20:47

DS1 didn't respond to sleep training.
He still woke in the night, and wanted/needed a adult aged about 4. I think he still wakes in the night now (and he's at secondary school) we just got to the point many years ago that he rarely needs us between about 10 and 6!

oliveandwell · 02/05/2023 21:00

Sounds like you're on the right track. What is his day sleep like and how much is he eating (solids) in the day?

Dinosaur27 · 02/05/2023 21:09

@oliveandwell He doesn’t nap for long, an hour is average. Most days he has 2 naps but lately I’ve tried doing just one and the nap goes to 1-1.5 hours.
Solids are hit and miss. Sometimes he’ll eat a lot, other days not so much but I guess that is normal.
He goes to nursery 3 days where he eats good, but when it’s just me and him he wants to breastfeed A LOT! I find if I bf him a lot in the day he won’t eat as much solids.

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Judgyjudgy · 02/05/2023 21:34

BuffaloCauliflower · 02/05/2023 11:56

@Judgyjudgy some babies can naturally self settle, I watched my 3 month old roll over on her mat and go to sleep the other day which her brother never did, but I don’t think it can really be taught it comes by itself, and usually through having been supported to settle. The natural for our species is being supported to sleep, not falling asleep alone, and there’s no real benefit to baby to learning to sleep in supported only to the parents

Around 8 months my DC had a sleep regression so we tried sleep training, by the second day he was sleeping about 4-5 more hours in a 24 hour period, yes beneficial to me but obviously hugely beneficial to him as sleep is important for development. I'm glad I did this as he would've been missing out on all that sleep! Much happier baby.

oliveandwell · 02/05/2023 21:45

Any correlation between days he eats lots and longer sleep stretches?

Mine is 13 months too, and food has a big impact on his sleep. We night weaned at 10 months as soon as he was having 3 proper meals a day and I realised he really was just waking out of habit. As soon as we did that, he started sleeping through.

We also do either 1x 1.5 hour nap at 11-12:30 or 2x 30 min naps in morning and afternoon depending on what we're up to!

Any more than that and he's not tired at bedtime which is 6:30/7.

Milk we only do wake up and bedtime now.

Sounds like we do really similar settling techniques and naps etc so I reckon it's the night feeds that need to be tapered off xx

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