Is my 4 year old racist?

[Gameofmoans81]

We moved several years ago from a large multicultural city to a small predominately white coastal town and I have always felt uncomfortable with the lack of diversity here and the impact it may have on my children.
Well it seems I was right because my 4 year old has started saying awful things about brown skin and I have no idea what to do about it. She has said it is ‘yucky’, ‘not clean’ and she doesn’t like it. She has definitely never heard anything like this at home so is it coming from nursery or is it her own judgement??
I challenge her on it every time and have opened a dialogue about skin colour and race but she is still saying she prefers ‘pink skin’ and I’m worried now that I may even have made too big a deal about it as it’s all she talks about! I’ve always made sure she has a wide range of toys, books, tv that include different races, my best friends daughter is mixed race but unfortunately with living here these are her only first hand experiences of anyone who isn’t white and I’m sure this is why she is like she is. My partner says she’s young, it’s normal, don’t worry she’s clearly not going to be a racist adult but I’m absolutely mortified, it makes me want to pack up and move straight back to the city.

has anyone experienced similar and have any advice?

I am talking about prejudice, which is a stage of child development, and may manifest itself as racism.

Being securely attached means recognising who is "my tribe" and who is not "my tribe", which may be based on language, clothing, hairstyle, any number of things, including possibly skin colour.

Prehistoric children needed this discernment as a survival skill. Modern day children still actually need it, as if you have ever cared for children without it, you would know how much danger they place themselves in, and how vulnerable they are.

If you have ever been in a country with any sort of civil war or fighting between its own civilians, you would be amazed how the tiniest children pick up on small differences of dress of the two different sides, even if language, skin colour, ethnic origins etc are all the same. For example, in Ulster in the 1980s, there were babies who could distinguish between Catholic and Protestant by clothing fashion.

Of course they did

look into it yourself

I find it amazing when people on mumsnet hear about something they have not heard about before, and their automatic response it disbelief. I have learnt so much from other mumsnetters. If I'm told something interesting, which I didnt know before, I am quite capable of looking into it independently before accepting it, but I certainly dont sit there with a closed mind calling people liars because they happen to know more about something than I do

I dont know what the point is of all these conversations if we leave as ignorant as we arrive

amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/06/06/health/kids-raised-with-bias-wellness/index.html

I feel like it's so much more nuanced than the way it was presented here

As in here on this thread

I think they disbelieve because of who is coming from.

well, some people are involved in more areas of life, some people have wider experiences, have worked and volunteered and travelled more widely, have studied more and have more qualifications and know more about more things than other people. And some people I think are very jealous of that. It isn't my problem, as I said. If people want to look into something new, than go ahead, or if they want to remain ignorant and narrow minded, also absolutely fine, their problem and not anyone elses.

some people have wider experiences

You’re not kidding. Some people have done everything 😂

I don’t see children as being racists. They see differences and that’s ok. No one is the same. It’s important to teach our children that people are different and it’s ok to be different. I recently had a parent come to me expressing that he thinks his child is racist because he said he didn’t want to play with a black boy.

In reality he loves his teachers who are all from different ethnicities. It’s ok to describe people.
We had a diversity week at school and the children were really engaged and fascinated. It’s important to teach our children our differences and similarities. Children are not racists. They are on a learning curve. It’s up to us adults to teach them and guide them. It’s up to us to educate them and be tolerant of all faiths, shapes, colours etc.

Sorry for jumping on here I know this is an old post. I found this whilst searching for help. My 4yo has just said something awful about how she only likes peach skin and not brown skin. I’m absolutely devastated and mortified. I have no idea why she would say this as I’m Chinese and her dad is English. DD skin colour is more like mine. We do live in a very white middle class area and her nursery is not very multi cultural and she often says things like I have yellow skin I’ve never seen yellow skin before . I obviously make a big deal about how Beautiful her colour is and also how beautiful brown skin is too. We are also very good friends with an African/white family and a thai family so I have no idea why she would say this. I’m not only devastated my 4yo would say this but also devastated for her knowing that another child could say the same about her skin colour.