Bit of background, my son is 7 and for the last 5 years has had the routine of Mon-Fri with me Fri-Sun with dad.
Suddenly now dads asking to have him 3 nights a week to which I said yes but pick either Thursday or Sunday so it's not moving DS from house to house through the week. And saves faffing/carting after school club uniforms and stuff he needs etc about. He's said no to either of these as it needs to be the Wednesday. (His shifts are the same 6.30-2.30 Mon-Fri) so no reason why it needs to be the Wednesday. Just suits his social/pub life better I imagine. To which I said if it's got to be that day maybe instead get him from school have tea Wednesday then he comes home in the evening. But no needs to be over night needs to be Wednesday. I suspect the motive behind this is due to maintenance as new partner on the scene. Anyway we're currently applying for mediation now.
Son came home today and said to
me 'can we keep things the same mummy so I have 5 nights with you?' I was very shocked as I don't know why on earth any of this would be discussed with DS until we have come to some kind of agreement over this. I sort of said well if you want more time at daddys you know that's ok but if you don't you also need to speak to him about it to which he responded 'please can you.' I get the feeling dads talked about it with him and DS has said yes out of not wanting to hurt dads feelings but is now scared that this will actually happen and wants me to stop it. But I can't and I don't know what to do obviously at mediation I'll explain all this and try push for no changes but ultimately I think it'll end in the 3 nights going ahead because he is his father after all. I can't speak to dad as everything I say he sees as an attack and just tries to argue a case back.
Just in your opinion do you think my hands are tied with increasing to 3 nights or do I have a chance at keeping it at 2? Will the mediator or court or wherever it ends up see my point of trying not to disrupt routines and if the night happens to make it a Thursday or a Sunday? I feel heartbroken knowing that the current routine is good for DS and at the thought of loosing a night with him but I'd put that aside if I thought it's what my DS wanted but now I know he's worried makes it so much worse. Also he gets legal aid I don't therefore I feel he'll not want to budge in the slightest at mediation knowing it's costing him nothing and me practically all savings I have and my money will inevitably run out.