3 year old saying ‘I’m crying everyday’

[Fuehehe]

My daughter is going through a phase of crying for quite a long time daily (as I’m not brief easily distracted tantrum…real sobbing and difficult to bring out of it). We ask her what’s wrong and she says ‘I’m crying every day’ …ask her what’s made her sad and given a few suggestions as to what it might be but she just repeats louder and angry / frustrated ‘I’m crying every day!’. She also says she’s sad every day.

in between these episodes she’s happy, playing, eating well etc and sleeping well. Maybe I’m reading too much into it I’m just worried I guess as she seems so upset and doesn’t want to be cuddled or touched during this. I’ve tried today to say shall we draw a picture about why you’re crying etc and that did distract her and she just drew birthday cakes though! But before this I suggested her favourite activities and she didn’t want to do any of them.

the only major change is we’ve had a family death the last few days (her granddad) but she hasn’t been told yet as my mum wants me to wait until we’ve told another child in the family who is on holiday …she knew he was poorly. I haven’t cried in front of her but she could be picking up on things. I have asked her if she’s sad about granddad incase she’s overheard something but she says no.

Your child is picking up on the sorrow in the household and that's normal. You need to discuss, in an age appropriate manner the loss you are suffering. There is no real reason to wait, it is not likely that your three year old will pick up the phone to tell the other child. I'm sorry for your loss but you need to deal with your child's distress

I know I really want to talk to her but my mum has said she doesn’t want me to tell her yet and obviously she’s a mess (this is her husband, my step dad). I also made the comment to my mum that my daughter won’t say this to the child! But I think the real reason my mum has said this is she can’t deal with the questions from my daughter yet while she gets her head around it which I get but she’s not a baby, she knows something has been going on. It’s only a case of waiting until next Friday and then I’ll have to insist on telling her

I wouldn't be too concerned about this OP. It's normal at this age to feel emotions without being able to understand or explain them.

Wait until next Friday??? I'm sorry but thats just not on. You are extending the time your three year old is upset, confused and unable to express why until next Friday when what they really need to help to understand why they feel this way. If your mother can't face the poor child asking questions just keep them apart. If your mother is spending time with the child at the moment it no wonder the child is feeling the way they are, they are experiencing grief without any adult talking to them about it. There is no way your mother is capable of hiding her upset from her grandchild even if she thinks she can. You need to over rule your mother and prioritise your child. It's a hard position to be in but the child is emotional and needs to understand why.

I am very sorry for your loss.
Has there been a change of routine since he passed away? If she normally sees granny regularly then not seeing her for a while will be unsettling even if she doesn't know that's why she feels unsettled.
Is there whispering and talking in code around her?
Does your mum live with you?
I would rather tell my dd and keep her away from the other child and your mum until next Friday rather than have her worrying until then. While the average 3 year old can go through the whole spectrum of emotions in an hour never mind a day, it sounds like your DD's intuition is telling her something is wrong. 😢