I have a 16mo, considering 2nd child

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so this thoughts been in my head a while. It mainly accompanies my abortion regret. I had an abortion when my now 16mo was 8mo due to 1) mental health, 2) finances, 3) not much family to help support if we needed some which would be a bit with such a small age gap.

I had my reasons and at the time it was undoable another child. In my head I’d wait until DS was 3-5 years old!

I don’t know if it’s because my due date with that baby has approached and I’m feeling guilty and regret. Or if I am just seeing my reasons below as pros rather than cons.

So if I got pregnant in may , I’d be due around end of jan-start of feb. Leaving a 25 month age gap

1. I think having them this age apart will get a lot of the hard stuff out the way, newborn days and ‘terrible 2s’
2. a lot of stuff from DS (pram, toys he didn’t use that are unisex ) are still really good condition - near new!
3. they will eventually play together and close enough to potentially Have some similar interests
4. we’re engaged and want to move house, by having another now we can then save for our wedding with both of our children being present at the day, and then when they head towards school move homes as the interest rates and prices are SOO high right now. And due to the lack of help mentioned earlier we have our child in nursery 4/5 working days. Would be the same for next DC.

I absolutely definitely would not choose to have a newborn and a two year old. Of course people do it and survive, but two year olds are hard work and newborns don't sleep. Mine got much more reasonable about 3.5, though of course this varies between children.

Can you afford to have two in nursery on full fees? Most people needing childcare wait until at least their eldest will be getting free hours before the next one is born.

I would do it.
There is 2 yrs 2 months ish between my dc. They get on well and play together. Both went to nursery full time. 2 in nappies wasnt an issue. If you are changing one you may as well change two. Dc one didnt sleep anyway. Baby actually slept better!

You must have had your reasons for making the difficult decision not to go ahead with the pregnancy and given that hardly any time has passed since then in the scheme of things and 1-3 would have been relevant had your pregnancy continued, I think it's abortion regret talking. Many people have an age gap of 18m - 3 years as you must know. So what do you think you're really grappling with here?

20 month age gap between my two and it's been fine (little one now 8 months) but then j have a very easy toddler and, most importantly, a fully hands-on husband. He basically took over toddler's care entirely in the early days with the new baby and I wouldn't and couldn't have done it without him being just as involved as me.