I just want a break

[Whatsrightnow]

I have 2 kids 4 and 1. I don't have any support outside of me and my partner. My partner works all week 7 days he's self employed. I work part time 2 days. The rest of the time I'm with the kids. There's no down time for me at all. I have migraines every single day. I'm also being woken up about 8 times a night no exaggeration which is triggering my migraines. My 1 year old doesn't sleep for longer than 2 hours each time and my 4 year shouts out in the night and wakes herself up. I am beyond stressed and I feel like running away sometimes. Don't know what I expect from this post. I feel like I'm in the minority as everyone I know has tons of childcare and time to their selves.

Your partner? Surely he doesn't work 24/7

Or pay for a babysitter

I think you need to speak to your dp about a better balance of work. It's not fair for him to choose to work 7 days a week and opt out of parenting. It's not fair on his kids, or on you. Is every penny of his 7 days of work essential for the household costs? If you upped your days could he drop to 5? Then you could at least stagger stuff a bit more to free up some downtime.

What does he do at home outside of his working hours to support with the children?

Look on childcare dot co dot uk

Home-start helped me when my children were that age.
I was a single mum with a severely autistic 4 year old, and a newborn baby at the time.
I had a volunteer who came to us once a week, but it was a godsend.
She was someone to talk to (I felt really isolated) and helped me to attend toddler groups (I struggled with anxiety).
She helped us to get out of the house for walks, or to the park or shops.

Why’s he working 7 days a week?

tbh most parents are either working or caring for their children. But most people living with their children’s other parent get down time by tag teaming and swapping lie ins eyc

Was he working that much before you had the kids? Is it because you’re desperate for the money or could he decide to cut down? If you worked more could/would he work less?

Is the older one in school or nursery?

Both in nursery the 2 days I work. Sounds bad but I can't cope with 2 days work at the moment let alone more when I'm having the migraines and the sleep deprivation is causing them. It's a viscous circle. He chooses to work the 7 days. He's a workaholic. He'll spend time with the kids when he's home from work so a few hours. Reading books etc. Playing. All the nice things. Have mentioned a babysitter but he doesn't like the idea of strangers looking after our kids when I'm "available" I'm just feeling really burnt out and ill. I take medication which isn't helping. It takes the edge off the migraine but there's still the constant dull ache. It makes life so difficult with absolutely everything.

He needs to do more. He is massively failing you.

How many night duties does he do with the kids?

How many times has he taken them out without you?

How many times has he been home alone with the kids while you are out?

What does he do when he is on annual leave?

Did he work this much before dc1?

@Whatsrightnow

Can you afford to put the children in nursery for an extra morning or afternoon so you get a chance to be on your own and do something for yourself.

Do you have any willing grandparents to have them for a couple of hours

Your partner should really be helping more.