grade 4 child smoking

[xaax]

ok i over heard my daugter arguing with her friend outside our house over that she owed her friend 5$ and would not pay him back so after awhile i listed to it and they were just about to lose thier friendship i opened the door and asked whats up. they told me about the 5$ and i told my daughter that if she owes people money she needs to pay.

i gave him the 5$ and told my daughter she owed me the money now. now during me listening to them argue smoking came up and i think my daughters friend was going to rat her out to me. she told her friend that that shes not going to smoke anymore because its going to kill her so she admitted it.

now im not sure how to go about this other than im going to talk to her and ask her if theres anything she needs to tell me and pretend like i know without referring to smoking to see if she confesses anything, so just looking for some advice.

Id also like to mention that she has been bullied and slandered at school by another kid who is one grade higher and has basically destroyed her school life with many possible friends she might have had and was left with the only other kid who had no friend because of bullying.

i feel like there is like crew of outcasts at school and they all hang together and because of this they are depressed or struggle daily with things and leads them to do things they normally wouldnt if they felt like they were accepted at school and not constantly victimized.

so i want to do this in a way thats not going to make her life any harder or emotionally worse than what she had to deal with daily at school. i have also considered home school but also feel that if i did, she would have a hard time in adult life coping with real things.

now my 2nd point, whats your thoughts on home schooling if you had any experience with that.

Bump

Sorry, how old is Grade 4?

Is that aged around 10?
My concern would be about what the school has done about the bullying.
How can a child of about 11(?) "slander" a child of 10?

Think OP means spreading rumours and gossiping. Definitely some of that going on by that age.

@xaax personally I would forget about the $5.
As for the smoking. Where would she have got cigarettes. What are the rules in your country about the smoking age, age you can buy them etc? If an adult has supplied them you could maybe report them to the police?

just by telling lies about what my child do and didnt do. stuff like she burnt the playground down to school and neighborhood kids.

well no i wouldnt forget about the 5$ its the principle that if she owes money she has to pay. also it may have seemed like it was important but it wasnt the point of the whole story. it was just a timeline more so of the conversation with much less concern.

9/10

So you have a 10 year old who is smoking, borrowing money from friends, and possibly depressed/severely bullied/victimized? This is really concerning.

• A firm talk about the risks of smoking, and to try to get to the bottom of why she thought it would be a good idea
• A trip to your GP or other doctor if she is possibly depressed
• You need to talk much more with your daughter to find out how she is feeling and why
• Reach out to her school for support with understanding the issues

I would be cautious about home schooling, as it sounds as if she needs guidance from more adults, not less.

@xaax so a playground was burnt down and someone claimed your daughter did it. That's a very extreme lie for another child to say.

@xaax did the authorities not investigate the playground fire?

I don't quite understand why you are treading so lightly on this issue. Your dd needs to know you are in charge. Is she borrowing money to pay for the cigarettes? And if she is being bullied at school, what are the school doing about it?