Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Do babies grow out of being cuddled to sleep?

39 replies

AEJ92 · 28/04/2023 19:35

Hi alli am a FTM to a beautiful 4 month old daughter. I love cuddling her to sleep but everyone says I shouldn't be doing it because she will get dependant on it. Did your babies just grow out of it and start putting themselves to sleep when they were ready?
So much conflicting advice I need to hear it from people who have actually been there!

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BFMUM1 · 28/04/2023 19:37

I still cuddle my little girl to sleep at 2. Its the best part of my day! If it works for you don't worry about what anyone else says!

ArseMenagerie · 28/04/2023 19:40

Yes.

Isjbot · 28/04/2023 19:41

I'm currently sitting here cuddling my 16 month old to sleep and I love it. Just do what feels right for you and your little one and ignore what other people say. Its not like we'll be cuddling them to sleep when they are 12. Enjoy it 😊Xxx

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

NeverMindTryAgain · 28/04/2023 19:42

I've cuddled both of mine to sleep as tiny babies and as they've gotten bigger (and heavier!) I've ended up just laying next to them in their beds til they fall asleep. My 2 year old will still invite me in but on the odd occasion I try to put my head on my 5 year olds pillow he will say "you can leave now.."
They are both very tactile, secure and confident kids. Your beautiful baby won't become reliant on cuddles. Ignore the absolute nonsense that gets peddled. There are no rods for backs or sleep crutches. Enjoy the snuggles 😍

Babyboomtastic · 28/04/2023 20:10

I still cuddle my 4&5 year old to bed sometimes, though they got through spells of more independent sleeping as well. I like the cuddles and will miss them one day.

Merrow · 28/04/2023 20:21

My 4 year old would still be up for cuddling to sleep. I didn't find he outgrew it so much as he got to a stage where he realised other forms of comfort were still comfort, and so I could move away from cuddling to sleep.

Original poster

AEJ92 · 28/04/2023 20:27

Thanks everyone, it worries me when I read that I'll make it worse by cuddling her when regression hits. It's a minefield of advice and I don't know what is the right way is!

OP posts:

sopher · 28/04/2023 20:28

AEJ92 · 28/04/2023 20:27

Thanks everyone, it worries me when I read that I'll make it worse by cuddling her when regression hits. It's a minefield of advice and I don't know what is the right way is!

The right advice for your baby is what your instinct tells you. My little boy grew out of it, he's almost 6 now and he stopped when he was around 3. I miss it!

Lizardonachair · 28/04/2023 20:36

Don't worry about it, it only becomes a problem when it is a problem for you. Phase it out if you find it isn't working for you, but if you enjoy it then leave it be.

Crabbity · 28/04/2023 20:36

Of course they do. Your baby is TINY. Do what works.

Sprogonthetyne · 28/04/2023 20:37

I still cuddle my 6yo to sleep, but he gives the best cuddles and I enjoy the quite time together at the end of the day. I'm sure he'll tell me to go away long before he's a stinking teenager so I'm just enjoying the cuddles while they last.

Lizardonachair · 28/04/2023 20:38

Pressed "post" too soon, yes they grow out of things on their own. My daughter has been through being fed to sleep, rocked to sleep, swung in a blanket, the list goes on. But things evolve and now she can sleep alone and has done for a long time (she is 2.5).

WeightoftheWorld · 28/04/2023 20:40

Depends on child, DC1 we helped that along with gradual retreat method with her going asleep in bed herself from wide awake by about 12 months or so, for bed and naps. DC2 usually preferred to be put down awake in bed from being around 6 months old. As soon as he could point too he would point to the bed to go in it hah.

Wotwotwotwotwot · 28/04/2023 20:47

Of course they do! They also in most cases grow out of not being able to walk and talk. No one expects them to be chattering away at 4 months or strolling to the shops to buy a pint of milk. Doesn't mean they'll never do it though. It's like sleep's the one skill that they're expected to know how to do from birth and you're making a rod for your own back (argh) if you help them with this aspect of life that they haven't mastered yet.
Try and enjoy the cuddles if you can, though I know it can get a bit tedious when it's all the time!

WhereIsMyGlasses · 28/04/2023 20:54

My baby is 11, years not months, and he sometimes still needs a cuddle to sleep. I'd say kids are all individual and you can do all the right things and they will do things at their own pace. Enjoy the cuddles, they won't last forever.

DragonbornMum · 28/04/2023 21:07

Yes, they do grow dependent on it for sleep, and yes they do grow out of it but it takes years.

You are the only one able to decide if you're willing to keep doing it for an unknown amount of time. I don't think it's right for people to jump straight to "you shouldn't do this", especially if you enjoy it.

FlowersEverywherePlease · 28/04/2023 21:17

AEJ92 · 28/04/2023 20:27

Thanks everyone, it worries me when I read that I'll make it worse by cuddling her when regression hits. It's a minefield of advice and I don't know what is the right way is!

Do what feels right as their mum op.
X

Singleandproud · 28/04/2023 21:20

My 13 year old won't even let me touch her now so I would quite happily go back to those sleepy toddler cuddles.

Isthisexpected · 28/04/2023 21:23

These posts always shock me. I thought your child would be a six year old you were referring to as baby in a light-hearted way. This is a tiny tiny person only just separated from you physically. I can't believe you'd even entertain anyone's comments on not cuddling this baby to sleep!

Username24680 · 28/04/2023 21:30

AEJ92 · 28/04/2023 20:27

Thanks everyone, it worries me when I read that I'll make it worse by cuddling her when regression hits. It's a minefield of advice and I don't know what is the right way is!

@AEJ92 The best advice I could give you is to stop reading the advice 😊
Every family is different. What feels natural to you? 😊

I still cuddle my 2.5 year old to sleep 🤷🏻‍♀️ we read books then we go into his room, sit on his armchair, say a quick “night night, love you” etc, and he’s sound asleep within 3/4 minutes 🤷🏻‍♀️ I then usually sit and enjoy the cuddle for 15/20 mins before putting him in to bed 😊 it’s one of my favourite parts of the day.

He self settles during the night so is able to get himself to sleep fine. I don’t think it does him any harm at all.

Username24680 · 28/04/2023 21:32

@AEJ92 I should add as well, that even if you don’t want it to be something that you continue long term…please don’t stop it any time soon. Your baby is still so tiny ❤️

Mutabiliss · 28/04/2023 21:35

Yup, I cuddled my son to sleep until he was 2.5. I knew it wasn't forever and I loved it. One night he jumped out of my arms and into his bed, and he's switched between the two ever since (now 4). He likes a cuddle if he's unwell and goes through phases of being cuddled to sleep again, but mostly gets into bed and falls asleep by himself.

tonyhawks23 · 28/04/2023 21:39

yes, enjoy it while they are little!

Mizzem · 28/04/2023 21:40

Just attempted to cuddle my 14yo to sleep and she said 'oh fuck off mum, you smell like perfume, I want to watch The Power without your smell in my face' 🤣 so yes. They grow out of it anecdotally.

Amammai · 28/04/2023 21:45

My first DS was cuddled AND rocked every night until he was 3.5. It was exhausting! Then one night I said, ‘I’ll sit on the end of your bed and hold your hand instead’ and since then that’s what we’ve done. DS2 is cuddled/fed to sleep at nearly 2.

How many adult do you know who say they sleep better when they are next to their partners or don’t sleep well if their partner is away? Being cuddled up to someone you love is just a natural instinct for humans.

as long as you and baby are happy, keep doing what you know works.

Flip

1 2