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Parenting

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Original poster

How old to be left alone overnight?

29 replies

winterrabbit · 28/04/2023 17:27

DS1 has just turned 15 and wants to stay alone in the house on Saturday night as the rest of the family is going away overnight. DSI does not want to come but I am not comfortable leaving him alone overnight mainly as I suspect he'll invite his friends over for a party plus there is a risk something else could happen (fire, burglary etc). He's confident but not responsible at all. DS1 is insisting that his same age friends all stay over night alone when their parents go away. Feels wrong to me but wanted to check that the general consesus is.

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BIWI · 28/04/2023 17:30

I certainly wouldn't at this age, and especially if you don't trust him, or don't think that he's responsible.

YouJustDoYou · 28/04/2023 17:31

Even if you did trust him, it only takes one mate to post on social media "party at Winterrabbits house tonight! The parents are out!".

CheshireCats · 28/04/2023 17:32

I have 3 teens including a 15 yr old. It would be a definite NO from me.

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LadyEuphorbiaAirPod · 28/04/2023 17:34

I've left DS (15) with his big sister (17) overnight before. He's very sensible though.

Daisydu · 28/04/2023 17:35

Depends on the kid. You don’t feel he is sensible enough so no, I wouldn’t.

declutteringmymind · 28/04/2023 17:35

Definitely depends on the child. If you have any doubts then don't leave him.

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:40

Do you have a ring doorbell? That may deter him from throwing a party.

Apart from the party risk, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to stay there on his own. I moved out at 16.

DramaAlpaca · 28/04/2023 17:41

The first time I left two of mine overnight they were 19 and 16, and I knew I could trust them both not to do anything stupid. I could probably have left the 16 year old for one night on his own, but this was for three nights and he preferred that his brother was with him.

HappiestPenguin · 28/04/2023 17:46

I left dd at 14. On a school night. It was an emergency and she could have stayed at her friends (same road) but she wanted to stay at home. She was sensible at 14. I would leave a sensible 15 year old but not if I thought they’d do something daft.

AuntMarch · 28/04/2023 18:00

I don't think there is anything wrong with leaving a 15 year old for one night but it would fully depend on the kind of 15 year old they were.
If I remember right I was that age when a friend and I stayed in the house together overnight (her parents knew too). We were sensible and didn't tell anyone else though!

We did smoke and drink. But we'd have done that elsewhere otherwise anyway

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 28/04/2023 18:08

I think it depends on the kids. I'd leave my 14yo but they're very responsible, not the kind to be partying etc.

Haven't had any reason to leave them yet though.

raycampi · 28/04/2023 18:13

No way.

My DS went to a house party a couple of months ago. We thought the parents would be there.

They were actually away and knew nothing about the party.

A couple of hundred teenagers turned up. The house was trashed. Neighbours were very angry. The police were called!

Comedycook · 28/04/2023 18:13

My ds has just turned 15. I would not leave him overnight

Tallulasdancingshoes · 28/04/2023 18:13

If he’s irresponsible and not particularly trustworthy I’d say no. My mum left me at 16 for a week, but I was very trustworthy and independent. I went to school everyday, cooked tea, did my homework and only had one friend over. Very boring really, but if you can’t guarantee this is how he’d be I wouldn’t leave him.

revealmyjackpot · 28/04/2023 18:16

I left my older child overnight for one night at 16. He was pretty sensible at that age - plus the added bonus was that because he was at boarding school, all his friends were not local enough to get wind of it and pile in for a party (he wouldn't have wanted this, but that wouldn't have stopped some of them!)

I still haven't left my younger one in the house on her own overnight because she would invite every person she has ever spoken to randomly in a pub, along with everyone she "knows" on Snapchat, on the basis of "what could go wrong?" She is 19.

spacechimp79 · 28/04/2023 18:42

I've left my DS overnight a couple of times since he turned 16. He is very responsible and I didn't have any worries of him having a party or anything like that. I wouldn't leave your DS though if you have any concerns at all.

Nachobowls · 28/04/2023 18:47

I was living alone at 16 so depends on the kid but I wasn't the type to throw parties, if you don't trust him then it's a no imo.

Clymene · 28/04/2023 18:54

You don't trust him. So it really doesn't matter how old he is, I'd say no.

JeanieJo · 28/04/2023 18:57

Seems young to me …

PerryMenno · 28/04/2023 18:58

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:40

Do you have a ring doorbell? That may deter him from throwing a party.

Apart from the party risk, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to stay there on his own. I moved out at 16.

Ring doorbell gives a false sense of security - the smart ones know to turn the wifi off.

Learned that one the hard way!

WilkinsonM · 28/04/2023 18:59

I leave my 14yo because he would rather stay home than stay over with his dad. I know he wouldn't have a party. He's fine.

Silvergoldandglitter · 28/04/2023 18:59

NSPCC advises not to leave children under 16 overnight alone. Obviously not law though just guidance.

Rainydaysgetmedown · 28/04/2023 19:00

I’m happy leaving my 17 and 13 year old for a night. They’re sensible, don’t argue and don’t have any SEN. I first left my eldest at 16 on his own for 1 night

Skybluepinky · 28/04/2023 19:00

U don’t trust him, so def not.

CremeEggThief · 28/04/2023 19:03

I left my DS overnight for the first time to go to a concert in a different city when he was about 15 and 9 months and he was 16 when I left him alone for 3 nights to go to Ireland. I think that's about right.

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