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Original poster

NRP has rat infestation- would you let kids go?

22 replies

Zoopadee · 27/04/2023 19:44

Have just found out tonight that NRP has a rat infestation in their home. Found this out from the children tonight. They are generally very cagey about what happens there and give as little information as possible about (I think because they know a lot of it is not okay) but the youngest let slip tonight that NRP found a dead rat in their shoes and that there are rats in the house and the dog has been catching some of them. They weren't able to tell us how long it's been going on for but the oldest said at least a couple of months (and they tend to play things down so very possible it's been longer). There are historical concerns about their living conditions there and their other parent has been reported to social work in the past by people who had concerns about the state of the home (actually by friends of NRP).
The children are court ordered to see their other parent EOW (staying from Friday til Sunday evening) and once a week for dinner. When they were there this week for dinner, the youngest who had been wearing a brand new pair of light grey socks, came back with his socks absolutely filthy from walking round in the house for a couple of hours without his shoes on. Now after finding out about the rats this makes me even more concerned as if there are rats and the place isn't being cleaned then obviously it's even more dangerous.

I'm not sure what's the best thing to do... Should we stop them from going to visit NRP at their house until they have sorted the rat infestation out? NRP is very high conflict so even suggesting any alternative meeting arrangements is not likely to go down well.

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ireallycantthinkofaname · 27/04/2023 20:34

NRP?

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 27/04/2023 20:35

ireallycantthinkofaname · 27/04/2023 20:34

NRP?

I haven't a clue either.

NoraLuka · 27/04/2023 20:36

Non resident parent ?

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FridayNeverHesitate · 27/04/2023 20:36

Non resident parent, I think

Ellewoods20 · 27/04/2023 20:36

NRP= non residential parent. I wouldn’t let them go if there’s a rat infestation

Lesina · 27/04/2023 20:36

No. It’s a health hazard. I would also call your local council and report it. Brown rats carry disease. I wouldn’t let any one stay in a house with them in it.

ThatFraggle · 27/04/2023 20:37

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 27/04/2023 20:35

I haven't a clue either.

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Non-resident parent I think

ReadersD1gest · 27/04/2023 20:37

No 🤮

Wasywasydoodah · 27/04/2023 20:40

Don’t send them until it’s sorted. Disease. But… if you can get some proof then that would be ideal because I can see how this plays out in court…

Mummapenguin20 · 27/04/2023 20:40

Nope

Original poster
Zoopadee · 27/04/2023 20:45

Sorry.. yes, NRP is non-resident parent.

OP posts:
strawberrysummer19 · 27/04/2023 20:46

BFN big fat NO

Desperatelyseekingcommonsense · 27/04/2023 20:52

I wouldn’t. You can catch Weils disease from rat urine which is nasty.

Nimbostratus100 · 27/04/2023 20:52

I dont think it is safe. I would not let them go. Ive seen rat bites on people who have been bitten in their sleep, sleeping in rat infested places, they spread disease, and they bite, not a safe place for children to sleep. I dont know what your options are, if it is court ordered though. Can he take them to his parents house instead? or something like that?

Nightynightnight · 27/04/2023 20:55

Nope...nope...nope....

DiscoBeat · 27/04/2023 20:58

I don't know what NRP is but of course I wouldn't send my child anywhere with a rat infestation! How is this even a question?

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 27/04/2023 20:59

I really wouldn't want to send them. I don't imagine anyone would. Given the court order, I'd be trying to find a fake 'legitimate' reason to keep them away this weekend to take some legal advice on how to navigate it though.

Original poster
Zoopadee · 27/04/2023 21:37

Thanks for the responses- they pretty much back up what we were thinking but due to the history with their other parent we wanted to be sure that we wouldn't be accused of being unreasonable. I'm sorry for the dripfeed but the background is that I am their stepmum, the kids live with us full time and were removed from her care by the courts a couple of years ago. We continue to have ongoing issues with her and concerns about the children when they are there, however have always stuck to the court order because they were all concerns that the court was aware of and yet deemed it suitable for the children to go there EOW and once during the week.

This however is something we have only just become aware of. DH is going to say that if she takes them then it will need to be at her mum's or someplace else until she has got rid of the rats. It won't do down well and I'm not sure if she will do this or not. If she doesn't then he will need to withhold contact until she gets pest control in. I don't know how we would get confirmation that she has definitely got rid of them though?

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 28/04/2023 07:42

can you speak to NSPCC and ask their advice? or speak to social services?

Original poster
Zoopadee · 28/04/2023 09:44

Nimbostratus100 · 28/04/2023 07:42

can you speak to NSPCC and ask their advice? or speak to social services?

That's a good idea to phone the NSPCC. DH and I discussed whether or not to call their old social worker for advice (they had one when living with her but were taken off SW caseload when they came to live with us) as we still have her number, however we have very little faith in SW around here as a result of things in the past. Where we live there are very few social workers and so they are massively stretched (as they are most places I believe) and as a result seem to accept things that are really quite shocking. We have lots of examples of this specifically relating to SKs and SW. In fact, I remember at the time posting about this on mumsnet under a different username for advice and some posters didn't believe that what was happening was actually as bad as I'd written because they didn't think social work would allow that or deem it to be acceptable. It turned out that things were even worse than we had thought at the time and social work still deemed it acceptable living conditions for the children.

OP posts:
validnumber · 28/04/2023 09:52

As this is going to be a really difficult situation could you approach it in a way where you can offer help?
Discuss your concerns with the mum whilst stressing the kids still really want to see her and important to spend time with her etc. Could you offer to pay and send round pest control yourselves?
I know it's not your responsibility but putting the kids safety first and helping the mum may ease the situation?
Obv you may not be able to afford this.
It's a very fine line to navigate I am well aware.

Nightynightnight · 29/04/2023 11:25

I can't imagine that anyone WANTS to live with rats. So the fact she is tells me that one of the following is true:

  1. She is dealing with it but it is taking a long time to completely clear the house and nearby area of rats.
  1. She doesn't have the financial resources to get help from pest control. Although I know from personal experience that my local authority has a pest control department who deal with rats.
  1. She is in the throws of a mental health crisis and doesn't have the capacity to deal with this.

Whatever the reason the children's safety and well being must come first. When I had rats they got into my food, are items of clothing, gnawed through my floorboards and carpets. It was utterly terrifying. They absolutely stink. And even after bait has been left, their carcasses are obviously a health risk until they have been removed. So this is going to take time

The fact that the children are hesitant to talk to you about this and other issues shows that they want to continue seeing her. So I agree that any approach should be framed as a positive offer of help in whatever way you can manage.

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