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How to deal with kids being mean

3 replies

Noicant · 27/04/2023 15:56

DD is 3 at softplay she climbed through the window of a foam house where 3 slightly older kids were playing. I would usually be close by to make sure she doesn’t disturb other kids if they are playing but she bolted.

I came after her and they had surrounded her in a small space and were clearly having a go at her while she was trying to say “hi I’m x”. I stuck my head through the door and said “hi is everyone being kind?” And DD was hunched up looking scared and the kids were just staring at me like they had been caught out. No-one answered so I said “dd is everyone being kind” and she said “yeah” and then came out as a boy had been blocking the door. She then insisted on leaving soft play. I just said some people aren’t nice but we do know so many nice people and listed all her friends who are kind and lovely.

It’s made me feel awful, I’m not sure what I should have done in these circumstances. Or what to do in the future. I feel like I should have given them an earful and that I failed DD. I didn’t hear what they said but you could tell she was scared and upset.

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Drummend01 · 27/04/2023 18:55

As much as you wish you could, unless another child is physically hurting your child then you can’t do any more than to remind them to be kind etc. You cannot discipline someone else’s child.

You didn’t see or hear what had happened, if you had then I would have suggested chatting to the parents but in this situation you did the right thing.

It’s horrible as she’s only 3 but the world is tough and kids can be cruel, it’s inevitable she will come across nasty people.

DragonbornMum · 28/04/2023 12:14

I'm so sorry this happened. I think you handled it perfectly; you are not responsible or accountable for the actions of other kids. Unfortunately you can't protect your daughter from all the horrors that are out there.

Pammy28 · 03/10/2023 00:46

Don't beat yourself up. Oh I have done the deed, shouting at parents and kids!. Yes I would have marched over and just grabbed my kid, while given them a look. Don't feel guilty! I hate bullies or intimidation of any kind. Surrounding a kid, no, no, no! But we live in a harsh world!

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