Oh & daughter, disrespectful towards her.

[Chickensoupforyoursoul]

Oh bought dd a present well something she needed & she was happy showing him when he got home from work.
He said now because I bought your that you have to give me a hug. She didn't really want to so dh huffed and pushed her arm. I was out in the hallway I heard him huffing but she came to me & said dad pushed my arm.
How do I approach him on this as I know she wasn't comfortable with this.
She also came to me a couple of days ago saying dad laughed when I fell and I hurt my knee. Her knee was really red so I know she'd hurt herself.

Is he actually her biological father & how old is she?

Only asking because I’d automatically hug my father for a gift as a child, the toss pot DM was in a relationship with after the divorce was as you describe. If he ever gave anything he’d say “now give me a kiss or I’ll take it back”. Vile man.

It sounds like your OH needs a chat about boundaries.

Sounds like he needs to learn girls don't owe him shit.

What an entitled attitude to have.

And concerningly, that's exactly what groomers do.

Talk to DH about boundaries. He cannot insist on a hug, what does that teach her?. A Thankyou is perfectly adequate.

She's 7, yes he's her dad.
I've spoken in the past as he moans she will hug me mum but I told him I don't force it. He says she's not affectionate. I don't know how to go about it with him as he will get annoyed and think I'm just having a go at him.

People of any age should only have physical contact if they choose to.
He has no right to a hug, no matter what he buys her.
Ifs not a great lesson to teach a young girl is it? - man spends money on you so you have to give affection even if you don’t want to

It's important for kids to learn they don't have to have any physical contact from people if they don't want to, including family members. You need to speak to your dh and explain that, I ask my dc's for a cuddle sometimes and they say no, I might want the cuddle but they don't want it so I don't get one which is fine.
Just explain to your dh about boundaries and it's important for you dad to have them and he needs to respect that.

So he pushed your daughter this time, laughed when she hurt herself on another occasion and throws tantrums when she does not want to hug him?

He gets annoyed when you try to discus things with him?

Red flags all around.

I would not leave my child with a man like this, father or not.

You should not have to ''explain'' basic boundaries towards children to a grown man.

Anyone would acted like this towards a 7 year old girl would be shown the door as far as I am concerned.

My DD’s hate being hugged (they have ASD), I hate it when people try and force them to hug them, my step dad does it, he’s one of those people that has to hug everyone before they leave. It makes my DD’s so uncomfortable that I no longer take them over there. No one should be forced to hug of it makes them uncomfortable.

There's a reason why your Dd won't hug her own father. What is it?

@Dracuuule I don't know what it I'd, she can be sensitive. She will sit next to him watching films etc & likes to play but she's not the type to run to him on the play ground as I've seen her friends do to their dad's.
He does laugh at her sometimes or annoy her which she hates.

I wouldn’t run to hug someone who laughed at me when I got hurt.

Teaching a girl to equate gifts with having to agree to physical contact is very dangerous. It’s good she’s resisting that, please back her up.

I did @AnneLovesGilbert on both occasions but I need to speak to him properly. I just neeed help in how to get the point across as usually he will just say Bullshit and dismiss me saying I'm too woke

He sounds horrendous. Your poor daughter.

His laughing and belittling of her has made her feel uncomfortable and insecure.
Who'd want to hug a person who's done that to them?
He needs to see how damaging his behaviour is and start repairing the relationship.