WWYD / What have you done - sleep arrangements for little baby and toddler in 2 bed flat?

[RandomCatGenerator]

Hoping I can get some advice and perhaps reassurance from you all on sleep arrangements for two little kids in a small flat.

Context: I’m 28 weeks pregnant with DC2. DC1 is 20 months - he will turn two about a month after DC1 is born. So pretty close in age. DC1 generally sleeps well now. He goes through periods of teething and nightmares during which he wakes usually once around 3am with screaming. He’s not a super early riser - up for the day around 6:30 on a non-disturbed night, 7:15 on a disturbed night. I’d say he sleeps undisturbed on average 6 nights in 7, and he’s a very deep sleeper.

We live in a two bed ground floor flat in London. Attempts to upsize and sell our place were abandoned due to Liz Truss happening and the market around us taking a dive while mortgage rates went up horribly. We’ve accepted we’re here for the foreseeable - at least 1.5-2years. It’s a lovely flat and we love the area and the community, and our neighbours are really excellent - it’s just the flat size that’s the issue.

After the initial 6 months when DC2 will be in with us, I’m wondering about the best configuration of sleeping arrangements for the two of them? Assuming that the second child may not be sleeping through at that stage? I don’t want TWO disturbed and grumpy kids…

I wonder if a diagram may be helpful… it’s a Victorian conversion flat. Basically the two bedrooms are at the front of the flat, beside each other. There’s then an open plan kitchen-living area which is mostly taken up with a massive dining table and a sofa area. We are building a ‘shoffice’ in the back garden which will be fully insulated and have a comfortable sofa bed in it as well as a desk (my husband is a remote worker).

All views and experiences very welcome.

I should add - I would like them to share potentially, when they’re older. I loved sharing with my sisters. But that seems like a good idea when they can have bunk beds - which won’t be for quite a long time I guess?

I had 3 children eventually in a 2 bed flat!

I moved DC2 into DC1's bedroom when they were about 7 months.
We waited until she fairly reliably slept through. But at 6 months she was still waking a lot and I was having to go to her lots in the night. We realised that we were disturbing her and she was disturbing us, so we moved her cot into the living room every night, which was right by our bedroom door. Then she settled better and eventually slept through.

So at 7 months moved her in with DC1. (who mostly slept through) Him on single bed, her in the cot.
For the first few nights they didn't settle and if one woke up the other one did too, but we persevered and after a couple of weeks they both slept fine, and if one woke in the night the other one slept on. I actually think it was great for both of them to learn to sleep through noise.

The only thing was that going to bed one had to be asleep before the other one went in. Both awake at bed time didn't work. So we always did bedtime stories on the sofa, while the baby was going off.

Then we had DC3, and added her in, swapped DC1's bed for bunk beds and DC3 had the cot.

mn is very against kids sharing, but it really isn't a big deal. Mine shared at the next house too and only when DC1 was 8 did we move to a house with more bedrooms and he finally got his own room. DC2 and 3 continued to share for another 2 years before we did some building work.

top bunks are usually for aged 6 and up.
If you have safer stairs and better sides to the bunk then they can go up earlier.
DC1 went unto the top bunk aged 5. But he could climb them like a monkey at that point.

We kept DC2 in our room until sleeping through. I dealt with dc2 in the night, DH dealt with dc1 if they woke. Then moved them in together with toddler beds. Now DC1 is in a mid sleeper bunk and DC2 is underneath on a floor bed.

I still have DC 2&3 (6&9 years old!) in my bed 🤣
Superking and I'm in the middle, although I do hop out and go on the side by the window when it's warm.

So have 3 bedrooms, only really need one!

What age did you move them in together?

DC1 began sleeping through at about 10 months. Unfortunately he then totally forgot how to do so at 14 months and hasn’t fully recovered that skill.

I wish I could have had mine sharing but the baby would just wake my toddler, even though she's a deep sleeper.

We have three bedrooms but only really use 2.

DH cosleeps with DD1 and I cosleep with DD2 (7 months).

The third room is a nursery that DD2 would ideally sleep in for the whole night, but tbh I can't be bothered with waking 2/3 times a night to feed and then put her down again so she just ends up in my bed.

Just over 12 months. They very rarely wake each other up, they can sleep through their sibling crying but not other noises apparently.

Mine are 9 and 6 and have shared since DS2 was 1 ish (possibly a bit younger- I can't remember!)

Neither was a great sleeper for much of that time, but they very rarely disturbed one another's sleep.

I would try not to worry about it at this point. You have no idea how the new baby will be, or what DC1's sleep will be like a year from now. There's every chance they'll be fine sharing.

My children slept in the same room and never woke each other. We didn't keep the house quiet and I could hoover. Just get your eldest used to people being in and out of the room they soon get used to it