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Original poster

Cancelling holiday because of toddler

21 replies

Jet888 · 25/04/2023 12:07

Hi all, we're booked for weekend away with friends, only about 2 hours away on coast. Looking forward to it as haven't been away for ages and no other bigger holidays to look forward to. We're going with friends. They have a very well behaved 5 year old, as do we. However, we also have another one who is nearly 3 who is being really, really difficult recently. Lots of tantrums, sleep gone down the toilet after previously being good etc. We had a day out recently with them that was not very pleasant being of the youngest. We're really considering cancelling the weekend away because I'm so worried they'll have a rubbish time with ours kicking off and not sleeping, and therefore we'll have a rubbish time too. But it obviously also makes me really sad to think about cancelling the only holiday we'll have had in ages. I should cancel shouldn't I, rather than having all of us spend the money on an awful trip? ( we can do full cancellation still and get our money back, apart from admin fee which we'd cover.) The other family are saying they don't mind our youngest but then, id probably say that too to be polite to my friends!
I'm feeling really jealous of my friends with toddlers who are doing a week abroad withoit qualms and I'm thinking of cancelling a weekend on the UK coast...

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QforCucumber · 25/04/2023 12:09

I wouldn't cancel it no. But lower your expectations of a nice relaxing break.

Yuja · 25/04/2023 12:09

I don't think you should cancel. They know they are going away with a 3 year old and I'm sure they know you're doing the best with her. 3 years old are a PITA, that won't be news to them!

Greentree1 · 25/04/2023 12:09

Toddler may behave better with other people there. I'd go and hope for the best, wear him out with activities during the day and he may sleep better. Good luck.

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Singleandproud · 25/04/2023 12:10

Don't cancel, take ear plugs instead.
You might find your DC behaves better with a change of scenary and other adults around.
Our children never behave as poorly for others as they do for us.

shivawn · 25/04/2023 12:11

Ah it's tough with toddlers OP. I find they go in and out of these phases. How far away is the holiday? You say he's only been difficult recently, he might get over this phase by the time the holiday rolls around. I was dreading a holiday to Italy last year because mine was going through such a fussy time with constant screaming and demanding but by the time we went away he was good as gold and we had a fantastic time.

Original poster

Jet888 · 25/04/2023 12:29

Thankyou all for reassuring replies! You're right he could be a bit better by next month!

OP posts:

RedRobyn2021 · 25/04/2023 12:53

I wouldn't cancel it. Just sounds like a 3 year old to me! It's normal for them to have big feelings.

viques · 25/04/2023 12:58

I would go but work out with your OH some times when one of you will strategically disappear with the toddler for a bit to give everyone a break. You can take turns, it doesn’t have to be one persons responsibility.

You never know, he might be so engaged with lots of new things and new people that he is too distracted to do his usual stuff.

Letsdance8188 · 25/04/2023 13:33

Age 2 and 3 were hell for us so we avoided any holidays and had very few days out to be honest, so I don't blame you for being worried about it. Everything we did would result in tears, shouting, etc so nothing was enjoyable. We have a friend with a child a similar age and they have also said no holidays for now. You're not alone!

By age 4 our DS turned into an absolute angel and we can go wherever we like, so it did end. I'd say at this stage as it's all organised, I'd go but not get my hopes up for a relaxing time. Although maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised! Also your friend wouldn't have agreed to go if they didn't want to be around a 3 year old.

Ellie1015 · 25/04/2023 13:33

Dont cancel, other family are aware and fine with it. The benefits of children for their child to play with and other adults to chat to out weighs your 3 year old misbehaving.

Also other people's children playing up does not bother me as I am not having to deal with it.

And of course hopefully changebof scene and fresh air means 3 year old is much better anyway.

Enjoy your break.

NuffSaidSam · 25/04/2023 13:36

Can you leave the 3 year old somewhere? With Granny? I'd try and do that if possible!

If not, go and see what happens. It might be fine, they change by the hour at that age. If it's a disaster one of you can come home with the toddler and leave the there is the 5yo can enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Lsquiggles · 25/04/2023 13:37

I understand your hesitation. I was seriously considering cancelling our trip to Portugal last year with our then 3 year old as her behaviour is challenging at the be

Lsquiggles · 25/04/2023 13:39

Oops posted too soon! Her behaviour was challenging at the best of times, was dreading the flight etc but it all went quite smoothly which is very out of character for my DD haha. Kids are unpredictable and your friend will know this too. Lower your expectations and enjoy it for what is is!

Original poster

Jet888 · 25/04/2023 15:44

This is all great advice. Will definitely do some tag team with dh to take the youngest off and I'm trying to be optimistic and hope the sea air knocks him out!

OP posts:

TheExchange · 25/04/2023 19:07

Don’t cancel, praise all the good things your toddler does, ignore the not so good as much as possible. Maybe try sleep training before you go and say to yourself this is just a phase, a knackering phase but a phase all the same.

booksandbrooks · 25/04/2023 19:26

Don't cancel. Just make sure you can do your own thing when you need to factor in down time without forcing everyone into it.

Do you have a tablet/ iPad? I found when mine wouldn't sleep zoning out in front of a show seemed to settle them and then they'd either pass out watching it or at least just have a sort of recharge.

The sea air and digging sandcastles and rushing about the beach will wear them out too.

I'm not so into praise to modify behaviour personally - but I'd give 2 options, sometimes 3 but no more as often as possible to empower them and give them feelings of control.

They call them threenagers for a reason and I know plenty of mums who loved she's 2 but though 3 was fresh hell. You're not alone!

Quveas · 25/04/2023 19:33

Tell them the truth. If they can't live with it, fair enough. But they probably can, possibly better than you. Kids often behave better with others. I'm grandma age rather than mother age, but I am able to quell a 3 year old tantrum with a look!! None of their parents can do it.

wingingit1987 · 26/04/2023 00:33

Honestly, the fact you are even worrying about this shows you will be doing all you can to manage this. And the other family will see that. They have a child of their own who no doubt has had phases which were more challenging, so they should be able to empathise.

Deathbyfluffy · 26/04/2023 00:36

It just sounds like a 3 year old doing 3 year old things - they’re usually a bit of a handful!

I’m sure you’ll have a great time - and those people taking toddlers on planes must hate themselves and everyone else on the flight to put them through it. 😂

SeaToSki · 26/04/2023 01:09

Pack some new toys, some teeny things wrapped up to use as bribes at key moments and a bag full of favourite snacks. Fully charged devices with new episodes of tv shows they love and headphones (try the ones in a headband if over ear ones are tricky) and then exhaust them, snack them and bribe them. You can manage the fall out when you get home 🤣

Mrsmch123 · 26/04/2023 18:37

I wouldn't cancel. I have a toddler and I'm going to Spain. I've accepted there will be good bits and shit bits. Just take them as they come😂

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