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Parenting

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Original poster

I feel sorry for my son, because his father only mind his own business

14 replies

Soni032022 · 24/04/2023 01:13

DS is 5, he is a cheeky little money and the only child.

My husband stays at home everyday. If he is not working, he is on Youtube, from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed.

I expect him to spend some time and play with DS when I am cooking (only less than an hour a day!), but he never does, he would rather stick with his Youtube. Even if he does play with DS, usually it ends up making DS cry because he does not (or does not have the patience to) play the way DS likes.

I am so sick of him to be honest. And I feel very sorry for DS for not having a caring and loving father. What is the point of having a child if you don't want to spend time with him? My husband has zero patience on DS in every aspect. He never encourage DS, he "teaches" DS by telling him off.

I really want to find a new father for my DS.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FranksOcean · 24/04/2023 02:53

Does DH not work

Coyoacan · 24/04/2023 04:05

Does DH not work
It says that he works in the OP.

Are you planning on staying with your hurband, OP?

WandaWonder · 24/04/2023 04:47

I have to admit you lost me at 'expect'

You can't dictate what an adult does

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5 year olds Families General parenting

WilkinsonM · 24/04/2023 05:25

You can't find a new father. He's got the one he's got, fathers aren't interchangeable.
however he does sound crap.

WilkinsonM · 24/04/2023 05:26

WandaWonder · 24/04/2023 04:47

I have to admit you lost me at 'expect'

You can't dictate what an adult does

really??
She expects her husband to spend a small amount of time with his own son while she's busy doing house work, not saying she expects him to earn a million pounds or get his ears pierced. That expectation is perfectly reasonable.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2023 05:29

WandaWonder · 24/04/2023 04:47

I have to admit you lost me at 'expect'

You can't dictate what an adult does

Once a person has a child, yes you can expect them to do the bare minimum parenting.

Unless your bar is so low you can't limbo under it.

toomuchlaundry · 24/04/2023 05:29

Was he like this before you had DS?

If he doesn’t do anything with DS does he do anything round the house? Do you do anything as a family/couple?

MrsRickAstley · 24/04/2023 05:52

If he doesn’t do anything with DS does he do anything round the house? Do you do anything as a family/couple?

I think we can take a guess at this answer.

Original poster

Soni032022 · 24/04/2023 09:48

We wasn't like that before we have DS. Well, that's because he was only responsible for himself back then. Now that we have kid, we should be responsible for DS's life! Mentoring, encouraging, inspiring him. My husband seems to be annoyed parental duties. When DS asked daddy to play with him, my husband just switch on TV for DS so he can watch Youtube himself. If I am not working or doing house work I will step in and play with DS. But DS needs a father, he wants his father to play with him. What is wrong with this man.

I talked to him about this several times, he always find excuses to justify himself. Every time when I complain about his excessive time on YouTube, he gets really angry. So I just leave him to do whatever he likes, I don't want confrontation anymore.

However we do do things as a family. But sometimes when we are in the park he just sit somewhere nearby and smokes. Or he will tell DS that he is sacrificing his own time to spend time with us, and that he could be doing something that he likes instead.

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 24/04/2023 09:55

I can't believe he said that to his child.

I assume he does nothing round the house. He might not have been responsible for anyone before you had your son, but did you not have a shared life before you got pregnant? Did you do things together, what was he like round the house?

nozbottheblue · 24/04/2023 10:28

Get rid of him, he's a negative influence on your son and of no benefit to you. You and your son will be far better off on your own.

JennyForeigner · 24/04/2023 10:31

WandaWonder · 24/04/2023 04:47

I have to admit you lost me at 'expect'

You can't dictate what an adult does

OK, then he can't expect her to do any parenting either. We'll just stick all children permanently in front of YouTube and let them get on with it, shall we?

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2023 14:35

Or he will tell DS that he is sacrificing his own time to spend time with us, and that he could be doing something that he likes instead.

This is very harmful. You need to leave.

Newestname002 · 24/04/2023 22:38

Or he will tell DS that he is sacrificing his own time to spend time with us, and that he could be doing something that he likes instead.

Wow! Where will you keep his award for Father of the Year? This is absolutely despicable behaviour- on top of him being a poor husband. I sincerely hope you're not planning on having any more children with this selfish individual- and building up a fund and general financial planning for when you are ready to leave him. 🌹

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