2 month old struggling to settle

[PrimeMummy]

Hi all,

I'm new here and really looking for advice or reassurance of some kind.
My LO has had a lot going on in his life already. Initially he was jaundice (we beat it yay!), then we discovered he had a very restrictive tongue tie and as a result of my attempt at breastfeeding he was losing weight. So from 3 weeks old we switched to formula so I could monitor what he was actually drinking and a week later he had his tongue tie release which seemed to be a godsend.
Then he's struggled with reflux, Initially being prescribed with gaviscon which caused terrible constipation and have since been using omeprazol which has eased things a little bit (at least there's no projectile vomiting).

The last week has been extremely troubling as he has caught a cold so is now exceptionally congested. We used saline drops which seemed to help but since his immunisations he seems to have worsened again.
I should also point out he's a very windy and colicky baby, and we've tried infacol, colief and gripe water for this. Gripe water is the only one that helps in any way.

I've seen on other threads here, that people recommend 1.5 hours of awake time at this age. This is most definitely not the case here. LO will be awake for up to 6 hours without sleeping no matter what I've attempted, rocking, singing, trips outside. A sling/carrier work wonders while he's inside but the minute he lays down he wakes back up. This is also the case at night time. His sleeping areas are all propped with mattress wedges to make sure he's elevated for both the reflux and congestion but this doesn't seem to make any difference.
I am lucky if he will sleep for 2 hours at a time either day or night and am beginning to feel like I'm going insane as nothing I do seems to settle him.

Since his cold began we've had last happy awake time too and he mostly seems to be crying whenever he's awake which is heartbreaking.
He does seem to be a lot hungrier recently but is only drinking little and often and the odd occasion he does have a big feed he brings most of it back up all over both of us.
HV says to contact GP. GP says it's all normal and he'll be fine, but I just feel like nothing I'm trying works and I hear other people with newborns having a much easier ride 🙈🙈

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance :)

He likely needs to sleep longer and he’s probably knackered. If he sleeps in a sling, keep him in it. The more sleep he has the more he’ll want to sleep. Babies do go thorough lots of changes like this and the cold won’t be helping. Saline and a snot sucker are probably a good plan

But don’t worry he’ll get past the cold and perk up.

Winding him frequently is probably also a good plan

Thank you, I have considered leaving him in the sling but advice from older relatives was that I was making him accustomed to being permanently on me and therefore would struggle later down the line with bedtime routines, so mainly used it as an aid for getting him to sleep. But at this point I'm willing to try anything so we can all get some rest.

Winding is a regular routine for us now and he does settle for a few moments after he releases some but its never a prolonged fix unfortunately.
I think like you say the cold really isn't helping. Im regularly using saline drops and bulb syringe, but dont seem to get anything out with it even though he sounds super congested and is coughing from the mucus. Just hope it shifts soon.

Ignore that advice. What they can do and what they need are at 2 months is an entirely different thing to what they’ll be able to do at 6 months, a year or 2 years. They’re born expecting to be on their mum all the time, nothing you do will change that basic instinct. Do whatever you need to how to tell them settle and don’t worry about what they’ll be capable of in the future. You wouldn’t worry about them not walking in 2 years because they can’t now, it’s the same thing

Ignore anyone that suggests you are making a rod for your own back or similar

Some babies need more contact with mum. Some need less. Your relatives may have had babies that were easier to settle, so their advice is good for their babies. You are parenting your baby and you can see he needs to be on you to sleep well at the moment. Do what works for now. Later on his reflux and unsettledness are likely to ease and then you can work on gently getting him used to sleeping in his own space. If you are going to cosleep have a look at safer sleep advice though, particularly as the risk is marginally higher for formula fed babies. You may find that taking shifts in the night is the best middle ground for both you and baby's dad getting rest whilst also keeping baby safe. Dad stays up and looks after him 8-1 ish whilst you get solid sleep, then you take over. In my experience this is better than taking 2 hour chunks each as it means you both get a solid spell of sleep.

Agree with previous posters re sleep - definitely no need to start 'good habits' at this really young age. With DD1 we co-slept when necessary, always did contact naps, and at 10 months sleep trained really successfully and she's slept through ever since.
Re the reflux, hopefully you only have a few more weeks of that. Every newborn I know has had a few weeks on gaviscon etc at this stage.

Thank you everyone, I did wonder about the advice. I guess it's the problem when you have a baby, everyone bombards you with pieces of advice that you don't necessarily need and it ends up confusing matters.

LO sleeps in a next2me currently as I'm so scared of doing something wrong with cosleeping. That and my husband has a disability so asking him to sleep on the sofa when he also works full time seems a bit harsh. I do maybe need to try the shifts you suggested actually. Currently I do every night and my husband does a Friday or Saturday if he feels up to it. But the idea of me going to sleep that bit earlier to rest for the night shift actually seems like a very plausible solution.

Thanks for the reassurance on the reflux, I had read it does get better after a few months and I really can't wait, he's struggled with it from very early on so it will be amazing when it goes away.

My 2 month old has been getting over tired too. It’s a viscous cycle as they’re upset due to being tired but won’t sleep because they’re tired. Something that works for me is playing baby sleep music on YouTube and rocking her and walking around, mines doesn’t like being still when tired.