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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Ex is taking me to court

5 replies

Babygirlmum · 22/04/2023 22:07

My ex and his parents are taking me to court for some kind of custody of my daughter, cut a long story short he walked out on me when I was pregnant and he said he didn't want to know DD when she was born etc, then I applied for child maintenance when she was three months old and surprise he wanted to be a part of her life, after a while I allowed this and for him to meet her he's been inconsistent in and out of her life for the past 8 months she is now 1 and he just isn't consistent at all, his parents have met my daughter I even drove 2 hours for them to meet her a few months ago and I invited them to her first birthday party I have tried everything to be fair with him and his family, now because I asked him to go out on his own with DD to bond because he always wanted me there around when he would come and visit DD, all of a sudden he is now taking me to court and I am no longer being fair to him apparently, the more I have heard him out the more I believe it's because of his mum who is quite a possessive and obsessive person however she told me to get an abortion when I was 7 months pregnant and all of a sudden she thinks she is grandma of the year, my BD has applied for court and of what it sounded like so have his parents also applied for court too, I can not get my head around this and I do not know where I stand in regards to any of this I am going through a really tough time at the moment and they all know I am, my dad has been taking into a hospice and they want to add more stress to my life after what they have already put me thorough when I was pregnant with DD I even said I would be fair and allow for DD in their life and he refused and wanted to take things to court. This is alot of stress for me I do not know what to do, I also do not know what type of custody he may be entitled to.

OP posts:

bluejelly · 22/04/2023 22:14

Oh gosh they sound awful. Can you afford a solicitor? If not can you talk to Citizens Advice?

Rainbowqueeen · 22/04/2023 22:27

Speak to women’s aid. Write a history of what has happened so far with as many dates , times and details as you can remember. Keep that going from now.

The first step is generally mediation. Figure out what you want. It sounds like you have always wanted your ex to have a relationship with DD. But when you have put boundaries around that then your ex has tried to play games. Mediators and courts love boundaries. They recognise that it is best for DC to have regular consistent contact.
I think this could be a great thing for you. A court order that sets out when contact must be would be good for you and DC. His mum is not an issue. Grandparents are not entitled to contact.
Best wishes

Dontbelieveaword · 22/04/2023 22:32

Regardless of what kind of father he's been up to now, if there's been no provable abuse involved, courts nearly use 50/50 starting point. Would you be entitled to legal aid? I know it's what everyone says, but your best next step is to speak to a family law solicitor. A lot will offer an initial 30 - 60 minute consultation free.
I doubt your ex actually wants 50/50 and would probably shit if that's what he is awarded, he's most likely just trying to assert control because youre not bowing to his wants and needs.
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he's getting all the care he needs and you're getting some support too

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Eggseggseverywhere · 22/04/2023 22:34

Whatever contact your ex gets his dps will be expected to form their own relationships in his time. Your dc won't be shared out 3 ways so don't worry! They have no rights. At all. Let them waste their cash.

MaryPoppinPills · 22/04/2023 22:37

You could be me. Even down to the abortion comment and the mother
My ex tried the court route (paid for by jis parents) once I applied for maintenance. We did mediation agreed contact but he still carried on with court application even though he didn't stick to the mediation agreement. I represented myself went with facts told them what I wanted which was regular consistent contact. Ex broke part of the order after 1 month and hasn't seen dd for over 3 years.
My advise is go through the motions and as hard as it is leave emotions at the courtroom door. If you can't afford a solicitor then self represent. Ex had a barrister with him but it doesn't matter to the outcome as long as you stick to facts/evidence and show willing.

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