Single mother, only child

[Daftmum47]

I came here to ask for general advice, and saw another thread on here about a mum worried about too much screen time for her kids. It made me sad because we’re kind of the same in our house.

My general problem is this: I have a DS who’s 6. I’m a middle aged widowed single mother, and it’s hard for me to get through holidays and weekend because the intensity and the energy required wipes me out. I can spend 6 hours per day doing playing, classes or activities and that still - putting it bleakly - leaves 6 hours to kill. As a single mum I have so many chores… and also need a little time to myself so as not to feel dead inside …. Though I think I’ve also let myself become a little demoralised. What with bereavement and Covid, motherhood has not been any kind of wonderful idyll.

I don’t have much support. My late partner’s family are wonderful, and do their best, but my m-i-l is 84 and my b-i-l who lives with her has ME/CFS. They give my son so much love but in terms of activities they don’t leave the house and it’s mainly cartoons.

I know it’s not always a walk in the park with 2+ children, but entertaining 1 child all the time … I’m just finding it hard, that’s all, and when I read other threads about screen time I realise how much I’m screwing things up.

Advice / encouragement welcome :-/

I'm sorry to hear you lost your DH. I'm in the same boat, but my ex has her one afternoon a week where they play video games.

Weekends when I am on my own seem bith blissful when I've got the energy and hellish when I'm tired.

My DD does have some additional needs which makes wrestling her ipad from her quite hard work. I find going out helps or now the weather's getting better being outdoors. Playdates, meet ups, extended family. He's getting older now. Mine is pre teen so can do a few more things without me. So you'll be able to have 'mummy's quiet hour' without too much guilt then.

I'd not feel too guilty as you are doing things with DS. His brain won't turn to jelly if you're spacing out ipad/screens.

Thank you @Bauhausstolemyhair

Just keep on keeping on, I guess.

I have good days and not so good days!

Do they go to school/nursery during the day? They don’t have tv there so I don’t think a bit at the weekend is going to hurt them.

I think if you break it up with a bit after breakfast so you can shower and dress in peace, and a bit after dinner to wind down before bed sounds fine. I let mine follow me around when I’m doing chores ‘helping’. This takes us from waking at 0730, breakfast at 0830, potter about and get ready until 1130, then lunch, get out of the house at 1230 (maybe drive somewhere so they have a chance to nap as mine is a terrible napper), spend 1330-1700 out (dinner around 1500), then home by 1800, snack, play, bath, story, bed at 1930. On a day like this they’ll have about 20mins of tv in the morning whilst I get ready, then 10 before bath.