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Parenting

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Original poster

Second baby

5 replies

Optimistic2021 · 21/04/2023 15:00

My dd1 is 15 months and I'm so torn on when to try for a second. I am so broody and would love to do it all over again but can't decide when the right time is to try for a second.

Would a 2 year gap be a bit crazy!? I keep telling myself to wait a wee while longer but it's always in the back of my mind and I just loved the whole experience with my first that I would love to do it again.

Any advice on the best age gap? I'm 32 so still young enough that I don't have to rush into it but also aware it may not happen straight away etc.

Thanks 🙂

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Asher09 · 21/04/2023 15:10

I'm 32 - I have a 16 month old and am now 5 months pregnant with my second... the idea was to have the kids close in age and 'get it over and done with' while I'm able to. It also gives me an option to have a 3rd if I want. I dont think theres such a thing as 'best age gap' there's never a right or wrong time, you just have to do what's best for you.

ShadowPuppets · 21/04/2023 15:24

I had a 20 month gap, not by choice and was also 32 when I got pregnant with DC2. To be honest, a smaller than 2 year gap was really hard work for the first few months - I can see why people go for it but if it'd been up to me I would have gone for a 2.5yr gap just to make that early bit easier - I looked at DC1 at 2.5 and thought 'yes, I probably could have handled another baby now'!

That said, they're now 2y 8m and nearly 1, and I really love that they're close in age and everyone I know with a smaller gap says that the first year is tough and after that the benefits keep increasing. And I wouldn't change them for the world! Except maybe I would have made it so that I didn't have two in nursery before eldest got her 30 free hours - this is going to be an extremely expensive summer...

CoalCraft · 21/04/2023 17:25

20 month gap here, by choice. Felt it was just right for us but a partner that's willing to do their fair share (or to take on the lion's share of work with the toddler if your breastfeeding the baby) is absolutely essential. Couldn't have done it without two parents being 100% commited.

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justmyluck1234 · 21/04/2023 17:42

Due my second very soon will be a 18month age gap between my two

TinyTeacher · 22/04/2023 10:39

Personally, I prefer a larger gap. Partly because DH is much better with older children, he's great with 4+ so it was a relief that eldest was 4 when her twin brothers arrived! How is your DH with toddler? Does he settle any night wakings etc? Up to taking the lead on potty training? I suspect a small age gap only works well if you have someone who can take the gritty bits of toddlerhood in their stride.

Frankly, I'm nervous as I've got DC4 on the way and DTwins will be only juat 3. I left DH in charge this morning while I had a bath and both boys had poo'd in trousers.... he's so rubbish at getting them to the potty on time!!!!!

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