Friendly neighbour

[Lowfi2023]

Advice please
We have recently moved house and opposite lives a couple (70s). The house we have move unit is a 3 generation family home, so in-laws know the neighbours for many years.

The man opposite started giving my DS (5 year old) treats (chocolates, cakes etc). This has become more and more frequent and now it is every time we leave the house, including morning school run. Never asking my or Dads permission first. It has now progressed to him calling my son over to his front door to collect the treat.

I have discussed tricky behaviour and safety with my son but he doesn’t seem to remember the advice when the treats appear.

Friendly guy or cause for concern?

Not sure but I'd ask him to stop and state very clearly that you appreciate he has good intentions and it's very kind but you would like him to stop.

You or the dad could try saying "that's very kind but we prefer him not to have sweets all the time"

The child's own grandfather is more likely to be a cause for concern btw. Statistically over 90% of child abuse is carried out by a close male relative not the guy across the road.

Absolutely tell him to stop! be polite about it, but be firm.

A 5 year old doesn't need sugary treats and whilst gifts are thoughtful (perhaps that's what he's thinking...) your child shouldn't be given anything. Ask him if that's all understood so if he does start- well, if I was being honest- grooming your son again, it's clear he's gone against your explicit wishes.

He sounds odd, just because he's 70 doesn't mean he can get away with doing whatever he likes. Stop him from the get go, you clearly know something is off here.

Friendly guy. Old school.

Its odd behaviour for a neighbour to give a child things that often. Every now and again can be kind, but every time you leave the house is crossing normal boundaries and can be creepy. Most people would realise it’s not appropriate so I would be cautious.

I’d definitely try to put a stop to it, say he can’t have so many treats as or tell the man you’re in a rush so can’t stop.

Keep talking to your son about safety. It’s a difficult age because you don’t want to scare him but it’s important you talk to him about this stuff in an age appropriate way.

I'd be concerned.

All the old people in my village did this when we were kids.

What's odd is you expecting your kids to say no when you're there watching and don't say anything yourself.

Just tell him your child's dentist has strictly advised no sweets as they are affecting his teeth, so you would appreciate if he would stop giving your child anything.

I don’t think it’s necessarily creepy. If you don’t want him to do it just tell him.

Hmm 🥴 I mean he probably is just being friendly but I wouldn’t like this personally if a neighbour was doing this. Just have a word that you don’t want him having chocolate treats all the time- he’ll get the message!