Brushing 18-month old's teeth - help!

[isthiswonderland]

My little girl is nearly 18m, she's very bright (well I would say that wouldn't I, lol) and although not really taking yet, she seems capable of understanding a lot of what we say to her, following instructions etc. So developmentally I don't have any concerns, except this one - I just CANNOT get her teeth brushed. She won't let me or her dad do it for her (fights us and refuses to keep her head still), but on her own all she does is suck the toothpaste off the brush. If we brush our own teeth at the same time to show her how it's done, she just wants to snatch our toothbrushes off us and suck the toothpaste off them as well. There's no attempt to copy us and make a 'brushing' motion on her own teeth at all.

As well as a traditional toothbrush, we also have one of those little battery-powered Brush Baby electric toothbrushes, which I used for massaging her gums when she was tiny (she loved it then, but that was when she was more pliable than she is now!). She is fascinated by the on/off switch and the suction cup on the bottom, but there's no inclination to put the brush end anywhere near her teeth - and again, fights us if we try to do it for her.

Does anyone have any tips to encourage this? I will admit, I'm only attempting teeth brushing at bedtime - I know it should really be twice a day, but the whole rigmarole is so stressful that I'm afraid that forcing the issue in the morning as well is just going to give her bad associations with it and only make her even less receptive. Or is it BECAUSE I'm only doing it once a day, and she's not getting enough exposure...? 🤔

Or perhaps I'm worrying unnecessarily - at her age, am I expecting too much? Is it something that toddlers don't normally 'get' until they're a bit older? Any advice is appreciated, even if it's just to tell me I'm being stupid...!! 🙈

Elmo brush your teeth song on YouTube did it for us

I remember Elmo brush your teeth song. I used that with dd too. I also tried everything you tried Op. I think keep trying different things.

I kept showing dd different children’s tv shows, songs, books about brushing teeth so as to normalise it and show her how it’s done properly. As well as her dad and a I showing her ourselves.

My dd used to let me brush her teeth until becoming a toddler then she refused quite vehemently. She would insist: “I do it!” But then not brush her teeth but rather she enjoyed chewing on the toothbrush.

It took time, patience and repetition. (Ok I admit I wasn’t always patient).

Eventually she has learned.

I do it like this:
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/xRlVNZJntWw

I use my finger to help open dc's mouth and brush in the same pattern each time so dc knows when almost done: hold lower lip downward to expose lower front teeth brush inside and outside; lower sides: upper sides then front, then tongue). Sometimes very cooperative. Sometimes not, but it's done every morning and every night regardless.

mine are a bit bigger now but with my second (less pliable!) child I used to explain the choice of being wrapped (swaddled really) in a bath towel with arms effectively tied in while I straddled her, or if she would let me we could do it the ‘the easy way ‘ ie a quick brush without being tied up and sat on. I think once the point it was not optional and would happen twice a day regardless landed she usually chose ‘east way’.

Even when non verbal they understand so much more than they let on, so do explain as you go along too.

I just fight my 18mo and win, we have a big wrestle. He does hate it sometimes but teeth brushing twice a day is going to be non negotiable forever, he may as well get into the habit now. My now 3.5yo was the same and now she likes getting her teeth brushed.

When we show our desperate side for our toddlers to do something, they can sense that and rebel. Another thing is they love being in control. You could let her brush her teeth and then introduce "mamas turn" this will take some time but she will eventually get it. You can create a song or sing any song to keep her distracted. It's good in a way she wants to do it herself as that promotes independence. Don't take it on as stress she will eventually learn but try to make it fun so she's not too bothered by you brushing her teeth also let her be in control by starting it herself, asking to help out toothpaste on.

When she eats toothpaste which she probably will, just say last one and put it away so she learns that there will be no more and stick to your decision to not giving more

Have you tried in the bath? My DD is 16mo and refuses teeth brushed out of the bath but the second she's in she's pointing to her toothbrush and will do them! I do try to help her but of course they 'have' to do themselves 😂. Yea it does mean atm she's only getting them done once a day but as she gets older I will change that x

I used to have to pin mine down. It was awful but we had tried everything. Songs, different toothpastes, bribery, everything! Eventually he just got used to it. He's 4 now and just a normal part of his routine. Solidarity OP.

Does she like miss Rachel? There’s a song on her YouTube for brushing teeth? We use that for our 17 month old

DD is only 14m and pretty good with teeth brushing but she is definitely better with it in the bath in the evening too

I sing the Mr Tumble song to mine and it works. I also put him in his high chair to do it. He's quite active so I worry he'd bang his head on the sink if we try in the bathroom!

He's fine with it, I think he quite enjoys it. I sing softly and it's one of the few times of day we're super close when he's not charging around!

When it comes to picking your battles with toddlers, this is the one to pick. I had to pin my kids down to get it done every time for a long time, but they eventually learn there is no getting out of it. Squeeze the toothpaste to the base of the bristles, so she can't just eat it off the top. The evening brush is the most important one, so the teeth are clean before sleep.

Like many others have said this just may be a battle. Our little one loved it till about 16months, then acted like it was murder when the brush even appeared. Tries patient and talking and songs/videos etc but in the end it was just a battle of wills and by 20 months was back on not minding them and willing having it done (he will still just eat it if we let him do it so that's a separate issue...)

Thanks so much for all your replies. 😊 This is my first MN post, and it was only after I'd posted that I realise that there were hundreds of other threads about exactly the same issue. So I'm glad I'm not alone, and thank you all for giving me patient advice, even though I appreciate some of you might be repeating yourselves! 🙈

I actually tried the head-in-lap technique this morning, and although she absolutely HATED it (and honestly looked at me like I was the worst person in the world 😪), I did feel like I was properly getting a good deep clean of her teeth for the first time. I think I was being a little bit too soft about it before, but you're right, it's a necessary fight. And if she really hates the drama she will eventually learn that the best way to resolve it is just to do it properly herself! I will keep it up, and try some of the songs/books etc. as well. Cheers all.

I always did the head in lap method with my daughter. Nothing else worked, including all the suggestions in this thread.

She hated it for the longest time. Would cry the whole time I was brushing.

She's now 2 and lets me do her teeth and even wants to do it herself. They get there OP.

Dentist told me to use a mirror so they can see and be in control. It’s also way less scary then someone coming at you. But yeah she is so young. Focus more on making sure her diet is v sugar free and lots of water. Don’t stress too much about how long you’re brushing.

I personally wouldn’t do that too much as it is kind of scary someone doing that to you! If you have to ‘force’ it try and do it where she can see.