Is my son normal? Worried

[Namechangetimes100]

He’s 16 months and incredibly heavy handed, smacks, pulls hair, gets in the blinds the works. We tell him no and he just carries on, we tell him kind hands and demonstrate a gentle touch and no impact and then remove him from ‘bad’ situations.

But his nursery have said he was very rough today, pushing, smacking, sitting on classmates, some babies!
My eldest never did this.
his speech is ok, he has a small handful of words, not lots but he can say mama, dada, nana, ca (cat) dug (dog), more, no and his sisters name. He understands some questions because if you ask if he wants something he nods or shakes his head, if he’s finished he signs it and if you ask him to get a book or toy he will. But he does not listen and is incredibly stroppy. Is this normal? I’ve never dealt with such a heavy handed child.

I think you have to be like a stuck record at this age 'we don't hit because it hurts, lets play some playdough with those hands instead' and distract him. Bad behaviour is often a way of getting attention or due to boredom. You need eyes in the back of your head and as much time as you can keeping him occupied so he's not making his own fun!
He's still very, very young not much more than a baby himself so I wouldn't worry too much about it, just keep encouraging him in the right direction, keep talking with nursery and I'm sure he'll get there.

If the Nursery have raised concerns have they suggested anything. For instance have they noticed any triggers or gave they said how they're dealing with it.

I think if I were you I'd call the HV, tell her how he's behaving at home and at Nursery and ask her to do the 16 month Ages & Stages.

They don’t do that around here, they have no involvement past 12 months. They just said they told him no, kind hands and then had to give him a time out with another member of staff

He does the vast majority except having 8 additional words and using 2 word sentences but that’s a 2 year old milestone so that seems a bit irrelevant to me

It's normal. It sounds like you're doing everything right, he'll get it eventually.

You need to just repeat 'gentle hands' or similar while demonstrating what gentle hands are. You can explain why we use gentle hands (because we don't want to hurt our friends/make them sad). He won't get it immediately, but it'll start sinking in. They understand much more then you think!

When he's do something he shouldn't I would go straight to removing him, whilst saying 'come away' or whatever it is you want him to do. Try and phrase it in the the positive, what DO you want him to do, so 'come away from the blinds' or 'come here' instead of 'don't touch the blinds'.

Give him opportunities to get his energy out and be physical in a positive way with e.g. the playground, swimming, soft play, garden play, set up a cushion soft play in the living room, blow up some balloons and let him go mad etc.

He does the vast majority except having 8 additional words and using 2 word sentences but that’s a 2 year old milestone so that seems a bit irrelevant to me

The Ages & Stages I linked to is the 16 months one @Namechangetimes100.

I know but the HV questionnaires aren’t the best, I see a paediatrician for my eldest and the actual official milestones are one word with meaning by 1 and 2 words together which for a child to do they need to know at least 50 words. There was no 16 month check for my eldest, it’s clearly not a universal thing