Do you think older parents stress more?

[Mog]

I was chatting with a mum at the school gates and she said she thought that because she was an older mum, she took parenting a bit too seriously. I'd never thought about this before. What do others think? It's an interesting idea. I'm an older mum myself and find it hard to imagine what a twenty year old me would be like as a mum.
Lets have a Friday night discuss.

sorry for typos, amd ever so slightly pissed

Well, in theory you should stress less. I had my ds at 39, and tbh, my attitude to his upbringing thus far has been intensely loving, but from a very horizontal perspective

Perhaps, Mog, this older mum had been a driven career woman before she had dcs, and finds it difficult to relax into her new role. Who knows?

psychomum SIDS was such a huge issue early 90's though

very true PYBF....altho did you see in the news this week saying that 'middle class' parents need'nt worry about sids????

is that cos the 'middle classes' are so much beeter that yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......

(meant as a joke the last comment BTW, altho the news story is true)

no i did not see it

I bought my dd a coconut matting mattress 1n 1994 - we were poor as bloody chruch mice at he time but such was the hype!

here I think

I hope this is the article....and it really makes those 'class' thread look as tho they have a point re 'class still matters etc'!!!

no idea on class TBH, as I am most definatley working class if anything (oh god, does that comment make me sound 'off'?)

oooh....and to add......I was one of those who panicked when they said about the mattresses.......spent hundreds on a sparkly special mattress to be safe for DD1 (well, not really sparkly, but you know what I mean)

all that bloody foam mattresses give off fumes

NO you dont sound 'off' at all!

ta for article

,

and yes for the 'fumes'

I think one stresses less.

I was 38 when my daughter was born and I had already seen so many friends and relatives in my generation give birth and bring up children that I had made up my mind about lots of things. So I don't agonise about decisions in the way they did.

The two older parents I can think of offhand (both had only child when over 40) are total opposites of each other.

One stressed and fussed non-stop and still hasn't moved out of pfb syndrome, though dc will soon be in secondary school, the other is one of the most laidback and confident parents I know.

So probably not a question of age but of personality.

I was 32 when dd was born and 36 with ds- much more confident with second child, but then most people are (if you didn't break the first one...)

I was 25 when I had dd. I was quite relaxed about feeding and sleeping and stressy about other things. I have had two ds's since then and worry less as I have adapted to parenting.

My sister and my close friends are all older mums (over 35 with their first). I find they really stress about sleeping and routines. I think it is because they have spent more years doing what they want when they want before having children iyswim.

I can't be arsed to stress.

I think probably a first-time parent who is older will be more anxious all round - otherwise you've seen it all before and are pretty much past caring!

Nah, I wasn't. I think you have to be a certain calibre of parent to stress. I'm not saying I didn't stress, obviously, but my overall Parental Performance was demonstrably less marvellous (and therefore less stressed) than that of many others regardless of age.

Had my first child at thirty and last child at fortyI am WAAAYYYYY less stressed this time. I don't give a toss what other people think about my parenting. I have the experience of the first two to know exactly what works for us as a family and what my views on parenting and discipline etc are.
I am 100 times better now that I was before and i think the experience of having a sn child in between helped too.
I'm a great mum now and my kids are fantastic . Just about confidence I guess.
Now if I can just ratchet down the smug a little I could be perfect

Well I did say probably - there will always be exceptions

I was 29 and 31 when my kids were born so class myself as an "in the middle" mum when it comes to age. I'm very laid back!

There are some older mums at play group - late 30s plus - and a lot of them seem very intense, always aiming for perfection, comparing who breast fed for the longest, worrying about schools before their kids are walking etc.

The exception is a mum who is 40 but her little one is her 3rd. She's very chilled out so maybe it's experience rather than age!