Accidents at school

[nras12]

Hi all,

My DD has started full time school this week, she is 3 and turning 4 next month (we're in Wales where they start full time school the term that they turn 4).

She has been fully potty trained since she was 2 and a half, dry at both day and night and has had very minimal accidents since then, literally maybe twice and only when in unfamiliar surroundings with GPs who aren't overly involved (we had to ask them to have her for a few hours when youngest DD was hospitalised).

Since starting school this week she has had accidents each day (both wee and poo, though only pooped once, the other times have only been wee). The school have been great, very understanding and have just changed her into her spare undies and bottoms which they tell you to pack. Another issue is she doesn't tell them that she's done it, they notice it themselves.

I'm looking for any advice on how to stop this? It's not something she's ever done at home so I'm not sure how I can help her more than reassuring her school is a safe space and she can speak to her teachers, her toilets are in the classroom so I've told her to just go to the loo if she feels to shy to ask, I'd rather deal with the issue of teaching her to ask to go than her being wet constantly. She reassured me she's not shy and just 'too busy'. So I've spoken to her about how important it is to go when she feels the need, I've even tried bribery but so far nothing is working.

I know this may just be one of those things that I have to be patient with and as she settles it'll stop, but I'm concerned the other children will start to make fun of her or that she'll get sore if this happens regularly. Any advice or experiences would be welcome! I should add that she's otherwise having a very positive experience, goes in smiling and comes out the same way and tells me she loves her new school so I'm rather baffled!

Mine did this. Turned 4 in July having been dry and clean due over a year, started school September and kept having poo accidents. As far as I can remember we just had to ride it out! Reminded her to make sure she went to the loo when needed etc. it's a pain but I susie t it won't last long once settled. Probably distracted with all the new stuff going on!

This usually happens because they're so engrossed in all of the exciting new things that they forget to go!

Thank you both for responding, so glad to hear it's not that unusual. I can't help but worry about her but so exasperating as it seems I'm useless in preventing it!

Starting actual SCHOOL at 3 years old? Primary school? Not nursery? That's so young!

We had very similar with my DD when she started school at just over 4. Totally dry at home but accidents most days at school - I think school was just pretty overwhelming with so many things to take in as well as not having the confidence to ask. In the end one of the teachers agreed to make sure she went to use the toilet at least once in the day. After a half term or so it resolved itself. I wouldn’t worry about the other children making fun - it’s very common to have accidents in reception!

My DS had the same issue on starting reception - he was 4.5 yrs old but started having daily wee accidents. Settled down after a couple of weeks. However, he was one of the years affected by lockdowns, he had a key worker place for the Jan-march lockdown and was fine, but as soon as the whole class came back he had daily accidents again for a while before stopping again.

I think it was just because he was so engrossed in what he was doing / he didn't want to stop what he was doing / he had fear of missing something when he went the toilet / he'd wait until right at the last minute.

Nobody ever made fun of him, the other kids don't notice or care and the teachers are totally used to it. The teacher would remind / send him to the toilet which helped.

I think it's just a case of riding it out for a few weeks and see how it goes. It's a massive change going to full time school, there's so much going on and to get used to.

@MichelleScarn yes proper school, she was attending half days at a different school since the term after she turned 3 so they do start really young here.

Thank you for all the responses, I guess we'll just ride it out. Totally understand how overwhelming it could be for her. So glad to hear that the children aren't likely to make fun of her, I just want to protect her!