Offered to defer my August born son but worried about private schools at 7+ or 11+ not accepting children who have been placed out of their cohort.

[Newtoparenting]

It seems a no brainer to defer my son so he starts reception a year later (he would not be skipping it). He is socially ready for school but doesn't seem ready for a non play based environment. He also gets frustrated easily and gets upset easily if he can't do something. I want him to have a positive experience at school. (I do not need advice on whether it's the right thing to do as only a mum/dad can know truly).

I am ONLY looking for advice on whether anyone has deferred their son at reception in a private school and still been accepted by a private secondary school at 7+ or 11+ (schools include Latymer, haberdashers, highgate, UCS, Whetherby, City boys, Northbridge, Merchant Taylors etc. What was your experience, could they take their exams with their adopted cohort or did any of these schools refuse to accept them. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!

I’m a little out of touch, but I distinctly remember the head of my DC’s central London prep being very clear that the major private schools were against this, supposedly parents “gerrymandering” their child’s advantage by deferring children, so they were the oldest in a year group and better equipped for 11+.

That said, for 7+ at some schools (City Girls) they gave contextual offers and weighting to summer born children sitting and I know an August birthday who was offered a place on that basis.

Reception is play based though?

@Meadowfly "Reception is play based though?" Not in many private schools.

There were children in DC’s last school (almost always boys for some reason) kept back a year at the beginning, and they had to stay in the same school until GCSE’s as it was very difficult to get in as an older pupil anywhere else at 7,11+. Sport was one of the biggest issues; they can’t play in the age cohort they are in if they are older, and sport fixtures are a massive part of independent school.

I wonder how much of reception is play based and starting on the back foot seems like catching up will always be an issue. Can anyone explain why sport is an issue...in private school how does team sports work? is this at primary or secondary school an issue? surely you just try for the school team and get in if your good enough or want to play?

Seems like I am yet to find someone that has a success story defering their child and getting a place at a private secondary without having to jump a year to get back into correct cohort.

Sport can be an issue if the sports bodies have restrictions by age so kids must be born in a certain year to play, Rugby is one that springs to mind. If your son is in the 'wrong' year he won't be able to play some sports against kids in the 'right' year or would need to play 'up' a year to play age group peers, Some schools/teams can accommodate but off the top of my head it might mean time tabling issues, maybe social issues or maybe even mean he misses out in some cases. So not an issue in RC but could be later on especially as PP said private schools that are big on team sports.

However I think your bigger issue is the actual 7+ or 11+ exam eligibility

Suggest contacting the schools to ask? Normally private school admissions people are friendly and very happy to chat.

I think the lest thing to do is call the schools you have shortlisted. Someone may have experience but it could be 10 years out of date.

The schools you've list are very selective and oversubscribed many times over. I'm thinking if your ds isn't already showing signs of being capable above his piers they may not be the school for him.

In any event you are resolute on this being the right thing to do for him so trust your gut and then look for school that suits him rather than pushing him into a system that isn't.

*best not lest

I made some enquiries to local grammars about out of cohort children, and neither had an issue with it. So it’s certainly not a given that deferring your child has negative repercussions down the line.

Join the flexible school admissions for summer borns Facebook group and search private schools - general consensus is this isn't an issue - lots of international students are educated out of cohort, and private schools are businesses that want your money 🤷‍♀️

The selective private schools generally don't allow it. However grammar schools generally do as do the less selective private schools.

Sport is sometimes played in teams like Under 7s so if your child is a year older then he'd play with the Under 8s who might not be in his class.

Can you find a private school that goes all the way to 18?

Of course they have to play sport with their actual birth year!! I'm staggered that you have to ask that. It would be absurd to say have a 13 year old racing against a 15 year old for example in a competition.

Whatever the case is now, I wouldn't be remotely surprised if in ten years time, they have changed their mind about referring since it won't work as it's so obviously open to exploitation, as you want to do.

'I'm thinking if your ds isn't already showing signs of being capable above his piers they may not be the school for him'

This is a really valid point. Many private schools are interviewing/testing 3 year olds now to see if they're capable. You're basically telling them right off that they're not.

It can be an issue if you are thinking of grammar because a lot of the 11+ tests weight their tests to benefit the youngest in the year. So the eldest will be at a disadvantage. I know of two children in Kent who were held back a year and their reduced scores following standardisation meant they didn't get in to first choice grammar (they did get into second choice!)

11 Plus Exams Age and Test Standardisation (11plusguide.com)

Having recently visited local primary schools to choose one for DD who starts in September, I do think reception is very play based, at least at the start of the year. Both of the well thought of local schools made a point of saying that reception do lots of things together with the nursery children, and the classroom environment in both schools was markedly less formal than in the year groups higher up the school. They say they gradually make the children’s activities more structured as the year progresses to get them ready for Y1.

I think you might find it useful to visit some local schools when they have open events to see what you think, before deciding when to apply for your son.

DC’s private school doesn’t allow it at all. It’s 11+ related for them as they don’t want parents to try and claim advantages.

This is something I have found to be rather tricky. What if the person a yr out of their cohort is very small in stature, as in how my dc was, but the yr behind him are all big lads? my ds would've been crushed by most of them. I think you're assuming here that the older dc (14yrs) would automatically be bigger and stronger than the 13yr old.

It matters in school sport when playing against other school's teams.

If you just want your child playing sport in school - no issue. If you want your child to play for a school team (ie, against other schools) the rules have age requirements in most sports. Same for out of school clubs.

That said ^

My children have always played up in age groups (so are younger than the rest of the team). The social side of playing out of year hroup never bothered them.

So I can't see the social side of sport being a big thing unless you make it one. They will just get used to being the Y6 who plays for the Y5/U10 team.

Just to add, my question is hypothetical. I'm fully aware of the rules as regards age in sports but the scenario above is because it has been tricky in the past mainly because the rules for playing with the same age are based on presumed size of players.

My friend encountered issues with this. She deferred a year - basically resat reception , (a very late August birthday and emotionally couldn't handle it) Fine and excelled in the deferred year. On transferring due to moving county- some YR3 entry (7plus exams) schools were very rude and not accepting about it - in the end they accepted an occasional place in Yr2 for a Times top 50 school which that went through to A levels - I believe sports may be an issue still, competitively.

So the work around was an occasional place before the main entry points if possible. If in London, they are so oversubscribed any difference may place you at the bottom of the selection.

Some schools are fine with it - from your list, I know Latymer is. The other schools I do t know.

Draft a standard email and fire it off to each of them. That's what we did. Most were fine with it, one or two seemed not to understand the question / a bit negative. I made sure I made the point that my child was born prem and out of cohort by 2 DAYS ... that may have made a difference.

Agree, you need to ask each school individually, there won’t be a general rule. Also agree that sports against other schools will be an issue