Coping with child with possible ADHD

[Epidoodah]

Hi,

I guess I am just looking for some advice because I am well and truly at the end of my rope.

I have a 5yo DS who is currently beginning the process of assessment for ADHD. This was suggested to us when he was at nursery, and now the behaviour has been noticed at school.

The main issue he has is not listening, he doesn't listen to a word we say, ever. He talks over us all the time, and cannot wait to speak, if he wants to say something, he has to say it NOW. In the past his behaviour has usually been more good than not, but the past few months it has gone completely the other way.

I am firm with him, and follow through on punishments etc, but this usually ends in a meltdown of some sort because he's not getting his own way, which I can ignore, he does eventually calm down and behave usually. What I am really struggling with is how to manage my own feelings.

I feel like I am carrying around so much internalized anger. I never take it out on him, but I am constantly on edge, and generally always feel totally exhausted, guilty and just plain miserable. It is so hard and so draining.

Any words of support or advice if anyone is or has been in a similar situation would be appreciated. Feeling like a bit of a failure at the moment, I adore him but really don't know how to manage this anymore.

Don't worry, it gets better! Promise

If he is already on the assessment pathway, that's great. If he does get diagnosed with ADHD, the school will put a plan in place to help him with the day to day stuff. Medication, if you choose that route, may make the world of difference. It will help him to focus and listen.

From experience, it helps to remind yourself that it isn't his fault when he doesn't listen. He has all sorts of things going into his head at the same time. You wouldn't get cross with a hearing-impaired child for their listening skills - and frankly, having ADHD can be like having a hearing impairment! (In my exp, anyway.)

My child with ADHD also struggled with emotions and temper at this age. It gets better with time, as they learn (albeit slowly) how to self-regulate.

It's also worth bearing in mind that your son may be masking/concentrating HARD in school all day (my child did) and it's exhausting. So when he comes home, it's like the lid being taken off a pressure cooker - it all comes out.

In the meantime, pick your battles - and good luck with the assessment process.