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How to cope with my family member who thinks having one child is akin to having none?

26 replies

HonoriaGlossop · 15/02/2008 12:47

When this family member had one child, she had said child looked after by GP's from Friday night to Saturday night and many a visit was spent by me sympathising with her many difficulties with the child - feeding, sleeping, behaviour etc etc etc

Now I have one child and this family member has two, and she has completely and utterly forgotten how hard she found having one

Can I just say at this point that I totally agree that having one child is easier in many ways than having two. Having two is more, and harder work and I have never said otherwise and never would.

But what can I do and say to this woman, who thinks I do no parenting because I only have one? She is at home 5 days and works 2 and was REALLY complaining about how she would cope with cleaning her house with only 3 days a week at home when the kids are out at school. I now work full time and was saying "Yes, I must admit it is hard to keep on top of the house and I find it really hard having no time at all to do it except weekends when we're all in" - this was met with a remark about "but I have to try and give quality time to TWO children"...

I just find this so frustrating. No matter what I say, it's dismissed because I only have one. I work full time and any tiredness or difficulties I have (such as getting ds taken care of when he's ill and still getting to work) are dismissed because I only have one to deal with and she has two

What can I say to her? Is there any point? Why do I let her opinions get to me? Is she being as annoying as I think she is?

I wonder if I give the impression that I don't understand how hard it is having two what can I say to make clear I do understand - but that doesn't mean that as a parent of one, you don't experience pretty much the same sort of issues?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Vinegar · 15/02/2008 18:01

I get this from one of my friends. She has two, but alot of family support. I have one and no family support at all. It can be extremely hard work, I don't think my life is easier than hers at all.
Some people like being patronising/superior to people with just one child, I don't know why that is.

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