Mat leave and back to work

[EssexMamisoa]

I am on mat leave at the moment and I love it so much - the ability to spend all day with my daughter is amazing. I do one baby class and meet my mum each week but mainly my favourite days are when it’s just me and DD to focus on each other.

I do feel very lucky here in the U.K. that we can take longer maternity leave that some countries.

I am however already dreading maternity leave ending and having to not be with DD so much. The thought of going back to work and leaving my DD in nursery pops into my head at least once a day already.

Any tips?

(She is only 5 months so I still have another 7 months to go. Maybe I am mad to worry so early but I can’t help it)

You're absolutely definitely not mad for worrying so early!! Here's my experience as I was very similar to you.

At 5 months I started really worrying about it ended. Just because I didn't want to. I'd tell anyone that'd I'd give anything to be a SAHM if only I could afford it. But as it was, I went back when she was 13 months.

By 11 months she was a busy little bee and I was starting to feel a little more ready.

I still sobbed my heart out when I left her, and for the first few times. Thankfully she was absolutely fine. She's 19 months now and she absolutely ADORES nursery and honestly I quite enjoy having work back.

I work shifts and had to pick three days for nursery despite not always working those three days. I was so sure I'd not send her if I wasn't working but those days to myself to get a million jobs done and relax are really enjoyed. Especially knowing she's absolutely loving life at nursery.

We love our new routine and she gets so much out of it. On mornings I tell her we are going to "school" she gets very very excited.

It's different and I miss her of course. But it's also not bad and I was so sure it would be!

For now, just enjoy your lovely time together and don't let the impending fear take any of it away!

NHS return from Mat leave. I usually work condensed hours 7-5 x4 which I loved. I feel like I won’t get to see my baby too much by the time I commute home, it’ll be dinner then bed. Is the condensed hours worth it for that one day off together? other option is 5 days however she would be in childcare for those full 5 days and the thought of that is upsetting NeverMind the financial cost on top which is even scarier….

many tips

It's nice you're enjoying it. Working pt is a common solution to this, though it comes with it's own problems!

Just enjoy the now. A 13 mo is a different kettle of fish to a 5 mo.

I was dreading going back to work as well and thought I'd hate it, I really thought I wanted to be at home with her all the time. Then she settled (thankfully really well) into nursery and I had the experience of several days a week where I'm just me again. And then I get to be reunited with her at the end of the day and see the big smile on her face, but also knowing that she's had a fun, happy day at nursery.

Once you've had that break, the thought of staying at home full time will honestly seem less appealing! You might not be able to believe it now but I think you'll be surprised at how refreshing it feels to work again.

Condensed hours DEFINITELY worth it. It feels like a true gift every single week to have a day just me and DC. I love it.

I also found having a midweek non working day better because you only ever go a couple of days without proper quality time.

Interestingly I’ve returned to work and it wasn’t as bad as i thought it was going to be!!

@EssexMamisoa - So glad to hear it wasn't all you feared!

I’ve re read your previous post from months ago and it does sum everything up nicely, although impossible for me to see at the time