He runs a business and this is his excuse for everything, why he does no housework, why he isn’t involved with the children, why he can’t come to birthday parties or family functions, why he basically only gives us his time 1 full day a week (Sunday)
Now we’ve been together almost 9 years and he is almost 10 years my senior (I’m in my 30’s he’s 40) we don’t have a relationship anymore, my resentment has grown and I’ve become so bitter lately when I’m doing 100% of the things with the children and he’s sat on his laptop.
To add… he makes time for gym 6 days a week, which is after work, so he gets home around 7-7.30 so by this point DS is usually asleep… how sad! And he wonders why DS doesn’t want to hug or acknowledge him. I understand gym is a great stress relief even though I haven’t found the time to go myself in a long time! But I think it’s a p* take that he works, goes to gym, home around 7ish, and then on laptop for the rest of the night. It’s no way to live! His business is successful and I’m always made to feel guilty if I complain as ‘no one else can do his job’ and ‘he has x number of staff to keep in a job’
I’ll add, I realised am extremely privileged to be a STAHM, that there are no money worries, he is working and doesn’t go out drinking or any of these things, it’s just caused a huge wedge that he shows little to no interest in the children. But money does not buy happiness. I’m not materialistic and I don’t buy things for myself, my whole purpose for being is for my children, I do plan on returning to work part time in a few weeks but I also work for him.
The social media bit has tipped me over the edge as he’s begun regularly posting pictures of DS, playing or doing things that he’s been doing with me, whilst ignored by him, and adding all of these deep captions. I replied to one today and called him a social media Dad as I was furious that only I get up with the kids in the am, I was up at 7 and sorted them, on weekends he strolls down at 11am! only I play with them or interact, I take them out, I make all the meals, I do all the housework etc etc, anything to do with the children is on me. So why share pictures to look as though you’re the one doing it. For People to think he is doing all of This… should I care? I do, it hurts. He’s made a point of saying he categorically believes he doesn’t need to do ANYthing relating to children or house as he works so hard and is the breadwinner and works so hard but I am burnt out. I’ve never had a day away from the kids, he did have a week away with work which I was totally cool about and didn’t complain once as it was actually easier not cooking his bodybuilder diet whilst he was gone, which is like a million different meals I have to prepare every night for the next day.
He’s also become completely lacking in any emotion or affection, like a robot. Can’t even smile back or when I crack a joke he just stares at me. Everything is uncomfortable. No intimacy etc. I’m a shell of my former self and I want to leave but I’m scared even though the Children don’t notice if he’s there, that I’m breaking the family up.
Any advice please, though I know what I need to do, but anyone who has been through this.