How much of the day does your baby spend crying?

[highlander]

DS is 12wks, always been 'challenging'. However, if he's not feeding, getting his nappy changed or sleeping, he's crying. He rarely spends more than 15 mins being happy. Screams himslef to sleep during the day - in fact, I can only get him to sleep indoors for his 7am nap and his 1pm nap. Other naps he has to be moving in the pram.

Is this normal?

I know dd cried a hell of a lot at that age. have you considered cranial osteopathy?

At 12 weeks - I couldn't tell you when he wasn't crying. At 15 weeks - peace!! You're nearly there, hopefully... With ours, peace co-incided with early weaning. Not only was he colicky, he was hungry, poor thing. Now he's the happiest baby ever - just doesn't stop laughing and smiling and only ever cries when he's very tired or very hungry - I'd say about 20 minutes tops in a day, but sometimes not even that.

My ds did this, you feel totally helpless don't you? Try the osteopath (HV may recommend this anyway). With mine as soon as he went onto solids and started to crawl around he became like a different person - I think most of the time he was hungry and bored. I does get easier through time although I know thats easy to say when you are going through a rough time at the moment.
I put him on solids at 3 months, I started with baby rice but he didn't like it, so tried yoghurt which he lapped up. (Danone do a special baby one). Good Luck HTH

My DS (12 weeks) is just getting out of this now, and not crying all the time he's awake. He definitely was colicky, and we started him on Infacol - a few days later he was much happier. Might be worth a try?

Hi Highlander - my dd (now 2.5) literally spent the first six months screaming and seemed a most unhappy/angry soul. Was just so furious all the time - especially when it came to falling asleep. Only time she didn't cry was when feeding! Now she is the most lovely little girl who has a LOT to say for herself. She's stil feisty but not frustrated. Some of them just don't like being babies - she was so much happier once she started crawling. Also, once her sleep pattern matured a bit (at around six months) she started having naps and not screaming herself to sleep as much. She still fights sleep even now though. DS also cries quite a bit but not to the same extent. Just look on it as your ds being a livewire - you'll appreciate it when he's older. Who wants a boring quiet baby? Not me grin] Don't worry - he'll stop the crying soon enough.

In the meantime, just pull the raincover over buggy to filter out the hollering and stop the annoying "Oh, is he hungry, dear?"-type comments!

double check for wind, we discovered when dd's mouth area developed a blueish tinge, that she needed winding again, and again, and again....it stopped the crying tho, just too a while for us to notice.

ds the same, Frizbe. and a trembling chin too.

dd1 was like that, highlander - it stayed bad for about 5 months then gradually improved. Basically, in her case, if she was awake she was crying, unless she was being constantly carried around the room. Bl**dy exhausting, and sometimes even that didn't work. You couldn't put her down at all - not in a bouncy chair, not in a car seat, not even to change her nappy or she would scream herself literally sick. I remember panicking and crying and fumbling my way frantically through every nappy change, trying to get it done and pick her up again before she started vomiting, as she was slow to gain weight as well and had to keep down as much as possible. . Massive PND and bonding problems ensued.

The rather frustrating thing is that we never found out what had been causing it. Several theories were:

• She's always been insatiable for attention and stimulation so it could just have been that. Downside: constant pestering. Upside: she has turned out to be extremely bright.

• Undiagnosed dairy allergy which we only found out about when we started weaning. Downsides: had to go dairy-free for a year and her baby teeth had problems due to lack of calcium and sugary soya formula. Upside: she grew out of it at 18 months.

• Wind. No upside.

• Over-stimulation/tiredness. As a keen and nervous first-time mother, I was constantly singing, smiling, making faces, chatting and playing peek-a-boo with her (more and more manically as my sanity disintegrated) and probably had the poor wee thing exhausted.

• My stubborn, idealistic and frankly rather snobbish refusal to give her a dummy. She was an incredibly "sucky" baby and did improve a lot when she found her thumb. I now wish I had given her the d*mn thing as at 6 she is now an inveterate thumb sucker and is damaging her new teeth. So dd2 had a dummy practically before she left the hospital . Chucked it at 4 months or so, no bother.

She is now 6 and lovely - still very highly strung but sensitive, caring, well-behaved and adores her sister. She was also - and I know that this might not be much comfort at 12 weeks - the easiest toddler I have ever had the pleasure to encounter.

Highlander ... Hello
My DS cried constantly until he was 4 months old, it was exhausting so I know how you feel. I have a bit of a theory about it ... he now (at the age of 5) NEVER stops talking! I think it was his only form of communication at that age and he did it because he could!
The thing that improved it was establishing a pretty strict sleep routine so he was NEVER overtired.
Another thing that crossed my mind about your baby is that he may have silent reflux ... some babies have this and it is acid that comes up the oesophagus (sp?) and is actually quite painful. Normally reflux babies throw up a lot and so it is easily diagnosed but silent reflux is like major heartburn for the poor bub without the chunder. This is also why silent reflux babies stop crying around 5/6 months when they can sit up ... It may be worth checking that out perhaps???
I also recommend cranial osteopathy ... he may have a headache from the birth. Cranial osteopaths are amazing at telling you whether there is any pressure in the head from the birth process.
HTH ...
Ghosty

I agree with the talking thing Ghosty. Bob cried a lot and now he never shuts up (21months). Currently it's all Thomas and Harold and Percy - so that is the "Thomas is politically incorrect and will never darken my door" thing out of the window then...

ds is like this too Ghosty! He just never ever stops babbling - it's like this low level noise all the time..! Ds1 rarely babbled and is now really quite a quiet toddler, but ds2 went from screaming and crying to babbling (he's now 8 months) - so I think you're right, it's just some babies' way of communicating - I don't we're ever going to be able to stop him wittering on (now I wonder where he gets that from..?!)

I am now saying (when people ask whether I'll have another!) that I will only have one if I can forgo the pregnancy, birth and the first 6 months - cause crying babies are quite normal but exhuasting. I just wore a permanent look of distress, and carried them around alot.

Back's probably shot to pieces now!

ah well, as long as not that unusual

funnily enough, he is VERY chatty - can babble for ages when he's in a good mood!

thanks for all your advice

Hopefully you'll just have a lovely chatty one in a few short months, Highlander!

TwasTheNightBeforeCatbert, we SO nearly just had the one, purely because of the state dd1 had us in. Not trying to influence you, of course, but we took the plunge and dd2 turned out to be a contented wee ball of smiles. Our main problem, in her early babyhood, was that every time she did actually decide to cry (even though it was always easily explained by hunger, nappy and all the other things the baby books tell you to consider) - I used to burst into hysterics myself and wail that it was "all starting again" . It never did - she was never going to be the type for it - and every time she showed us this it got a bit easier.

hmm, my Elizabeth Pantley 'No Cry Sleep' book arrived today and although DS is doing wonderfully well at night, it would appear that he isn't getting enough naps during the day, and that I'm waiting too late before I put him down for a nap. result - crying baby all day who screams himself to sleep. God, it was bad tonight. He looked so upset.

Tomorrow we begin our nap routine!!

Hmmm, highlander .... good work hon, I believe naps ARE the key!
DS was 10 weeks old (and a blinking NIGHTMARE!) when a friend of mine let me in on a little secret: Young babies SHOULDN'T be awake for longer than 2 hours at a time!
I think it was the best piece of advice anyone has ever given me since becoming a mother (apart from "Pour yourself a large glass of wine when the baby is in bed in the evening" )
It made so much sense and after working on naps etc by the time DS was 4 months he was much happier.
I used that advice with DD from Day 1 (although I used the 2 hours as a MAXIMUM with her ... she couldn't stay awake for longer than 1.25 hours in the early early days ... )
Basically, go with the idea that from whatever time your DS wakes up, put him down for a nap no more than 2 hours later and see what happens. Don't worry to begin with about how long he sleep (he may only cat nap for a while) but always go with the 2 hour thing. Also that way you know you will always have a break every couple of hours too, if only to make yourself a cup of tea (or pour yourself a glass of wine!!)
G xx

ghosty, I'd heard that too - but I forgot! After watching DS yesterday he does get tired after 1 hour but is overtired after 1.5 hours - hence the screaming.

God, it all sounds so obvious - I feel so crap at mothering! As my sis says - get used to it, you'll be feeling crap and guilty for the rest of your life

PS love all these Christmas names; can't think of one for me!

Our DS1 was overtired as a baby, too. I find DS2 (now 11 weeks) gets tired after about an hour. You can keep him up for two hours, maybe. After that, you're in trouble.

DS1 couldn't be put down, was always cranky. DS2 barely cries at all. Maybe an hour? And much of that is pushchair howling before sleeping, which I'm getting better at preventing.

And he can be put down in a bouncy chair, where he'll be very very happy. It probably helps that he's got DS1 to watch, but I do think the sleep thing is crucial.

Not quite Christmassy but you could be Hogmanay, highlander - unless it's taken?

Or highlandmaltwhiskyforsanta...

xmascaroltygirl - I did go for the second. Seemed rude not to !! But as for a third...

Sorry TTNBC - not yet sufficiently informed about how many children people have, etc. Must be more observant...

Two will do for me as well - in fact, they practically have done!