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Parenting

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Very shy reception child

4 replies

BatKat · 16/04/2023 00:50

Hello, I was hoping to get some advice to help with my 4 year old daughter. She started school in September so is two thirds of the way through reception.

She has always been very reserved in certain situations, particularly with adults. At home, and with close family members, she is very loud and chatty (no issues with vocabulary/speech). She doesn’t seem to have any problems making friends, and me and her teacher see her playing well and talking with her friends. However, she generally will not talk to adults unless she knows them well. She will sometimes talk to her teacher but not always - it seems to be very much on my daughters terms when she wants to speak to her. She will join in loudly with the register everyday and joins in with class reading in small groups (quietly) but she will never talk to supply teachers (even those she has met several times before), have a speaking part in assemblies etc. The teacher has said it is slowly improving, which is great, but she is worried it will start to hold her back. I also see this outside of school as she generally won’t talk back to unfamiliar adults that great her or other children’s mums who she knows from school.

Otherwise she has settled great into school, she seems to be enjoying it and comes out very happy everyday and has some very lovely friends. She is doing well on the reading/writing side.

Although the teacher has raised it as a concern, she couldn’t really give me any tips to help improve it. So I just wondered if anyone has any ideas? I’m not sure if it’s something I would go to the GP about…or a child psychologist or something else? Or as things are improving and she’s still young do I give it a bit more time? I would consider paying for private help but I’m not quite sure what route I’d need to go down. Any thoughts gratefully received

OP posts:
MissingMoominMamma · 16/04/2023 00:52

Give her time. She’s doing it at her own pace and getting slightly more confident.

Samee20 · 25/09/2023 09:23

@BatKat sounds like my daughter last year, she was the youngest in her class. Even she had a small group of good friends who she used to interact with but with adults there was less interaction. Although the key worker accepted that my daughter has started talking to her but not to unfamiliar adults. There was another teacher from Reception who would raise everything as a red flag but I saw other children who wouldn't talk much to adults. I told them then if you keep on judging her then it's likely she is gonna be conscious. My daughter now goes to a private school. She is in Year 1, she is really good in making close friends quickly but she needs to trust an adult to communicate more with them. My husband works in education sector and we know a counsellor of this school and she says its totally normal for a child to be like that especially with unknown adults. I believe too much pressure is put on our young children to communicate with adults but it's adults responsibility too to make children comfortable with them.
I would see it more of a concern if our children didn't interact with their peers and they were more comfortable with adults.

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bumblingbovine49 · 04/11/2023 19:54

Oops sorry posted on the wrong thread

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