Please help - 3 year old dinner time tantrums

[Secondbirthwhathappened]

DD is 3. We have a new baby which has unsettled her recently, we expected this and have been making sure she gets plenty of 1-on-1 time with us as well as the usual ‘special big sister’ praise.

Over the last few weeks, every time we have sat down for dinner, she’s started to sulk, saying she doesn’t like what’s on her plate (even when it’s her favourite meal). There’s a bit of back and forth where I encourage her to eat it, she usually screams and pushes the plate away. Eventually I say fine and go to take the plate away, she becomes hysterical and demands it back, then eats the lot while chatting away like nothing has happened.

Its making me dread every meal time. Any advice please 😞

Bumping

Hmmmm I think I would completely ignore the sulks and tantrums. You have done your job by putting a lovely meal on the table. While DD tantrums you 'chat' to DH if he's at the table or read a magazine. Every couple of minutes you could try and involve DD in the chat by asking her a question or something. Make her feel fabulous and centre of attention when she stops the sulks and joins in with the meal.

Try not to dread the meal - this means the sulks have won!

Ignore the sulk and tantrum totally as if it wasn’t happening. I wouldn’t indulge her and encourage her to eat or say anything at all about the meal. Just eat yours, ensure your DH is on the same page and is eating his. When the meal is over remove everyone’s plates including hers whether she has eaten it or not. No more food until the next meal and continue as before. No attention giving to eat, just everyone carry on as normal. No fuss.

she can tantrum all she likes when you take the plate away. It’s gone, she had her chance and wanted to control the narrative instead of eat. Now she finds the consequences. She won’t do it more than a couple of meals before returning to normal eating.

if you let her control this it tells her she can control you and will seep into other areas of life like getting dressed, leaving the house etc

We had this with DD after our second was born and to a certain extent now with our youngest.
I try to take a bit of a breezy “ok but theres nothing else approach” and ignore the tantrums as giving attention to th issue seems to make it worse and perpetuates it

Thanks everyone bit of a unanimous verdict there. I was worried I was being too harsh on her but obviously not. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it soon 🥴

Ask her to help you prepare dinner? Even if it's just laying the table, or passing you something or stirring a pot.
Really helped with my youngest. When they are involved in it they take more pride in the food or table.
My son still thinks he has to stir the Yorkshire pudding mix to make it rise 🤣