Feeling stupid..

[Dandelioncl0ck]

This sounds really ridiculous but just met my friend's new baby for the first time and am feeling really jealous of how easy they seem to be finding it. We had a rough start with DD (14weeks) - jaundice, readmitted to hospital, feeding problems to the point that BF has only really felt easy and comfortable for the last couple of weeks. As a result I guess I've felt quite frazzled up until now but things are starting to feel more settled now especially as she's sleeping longer stretches at night and I'm feeling like we're hitting our stride a bit more but I'm still nervous about some stuff. We try and get out every day, local stuff like baby groups or a walk round the park or to the supermarket. One time DH and I took her to the pub for one and felt so impressed with ourselves! We also went away for a weekend with my parents to Brighton and again felt like such an achievement.

My friend's baby is a week old and they have been out to the pub with friends 3 times already, out for dinner, walks at places they've needed to take the bus (still too nervous to take our pram on the bus as they're always really crowded round here and I'm worried about not being able to fit/ the baby crying although i have got the bus with the sling). They've booked four foreign holidays over the next few months. Feeding has been easy and the baby never cries. I offered to make them a cup of tea when we were round and they looked at me like I was being silly. Basically they just seem to be finding having a baby to be a doddle and it's making me feel like I'm going a bit crazy. Why have I found it so much harder?? Have I missed something?

I know comparison is the thief of joy and everyone is different and that it's great that my friends are finding things so manageable and it's really silly but can't help but feel sad, like I've been doing things all wrong and that it's sad that I feel a sense of achievement going to sainsburys when they're out at restaurants and planning long haul trips and their house is spotless... not really sure what I'm asking tbh but did anyone else feel like this?

@Vallmo47 thanks for the kind words, yes I guess luck is a big part of it, which can be kind of hard to come to terms with but it's just the way it is! It's funny I don't feel judged when out and about, people are usually very kind but I'm terrible with comparing myself to others.

@ecossegirl91 ha I bet! Actually going away was a massive confidence boost for us too, I was so worried about it beforehand but we all had such a great time and she started sleeping through the night whilst we were away which was a lovely bonus! I think i do need to try and relax a bit about the crying as I know people are usually lovely about it. I think my anxiety about it might be linked to her being ill at the start and feeling so guilty about it, even though I know it wasn't my fault, I just don't want to see her upset ever, even though its going to happen inevitably, she's a baby and they cry!

Babies are totally different. My eldest would only contact nap from day 1, so newborn days were horrifically hard! And she cluster fed for HOURS every evening. I remember seeing a mum pop her 2 month old in the pram at a toddler group and rock him for a few seconds and thinking at must have some kind of magic touch. When my boys came along, imagine my surprise when they were happy to not off plonked in the pram in the sitting room! I actually had my hands to get stuff done! My house was about as tidy as it's ever been! Everything about their sleep has been easier than it was for DD. Some kids are just like that.

@TinyTeacher thanks, definitely helpful to just accept all babies are different and sometimes you just end up with an "easy" one..