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Original poster

20mo speech what is normal?

22 replies

SpookyMom · 15/04/2023 10:38

Hello my 20 month old only speaks about 20 words which includes the following

All done
I did it
mommy
daddy
yeah
no
hungry
again
light (this is the cat’s name. Short for lightning)
kitty cat
-sign for milk- (does not verbally say milk)
red
green
okay
shark
hi
bye
Die (short for dinosaur.)
Appy (apple)

I noticed the kids in her age range always seem to be speaking fairly well. Is she typical for her age? She also seems to really clam up when on the playground and she doesn’t speak. She still send to enjoy playing with the other kids and she smiles and she’s happy but refuses to talk until she gets home again. 😅

Should we talk to a doctor or should we just be patient and wait and see? She also clearly understand more than she speaks. She can respond appropriately to questions using words that aren’t in her spoken vocabulary such as “can you please bring this cup to daddy?” or “do you want a snack?”

I’ve noticed when she can’t verbally request something she will “ask” for it non verbally such as patting my legs if she wants to sit on my lap for example. Or if she wants to see her dad while he’s working in the other room she will grab my hand and pull me to his room. That kind of thing.

OP posts:

gerbilcrocus · 15/04/2023 10:54

I can only assume this is your first child to be worried about this at just 20 months.

My DS had fewer words than that at that age and has developed into an intelligent and articulate 15 year old.

It's way over the top to be thinking about getting medical intervention for what is perfectly normal development.

Original poster

SpookyMom · 15/04/2023 11:15

gerbilcrocus · 15/04/2023 10:54

I can only assume this is your first child to be worried about this at just 20 months.

My DS had fewer words than that at that age and has developed into an intelligent and articulate 15 year old.

It's way over the top to be thinking about getting medical intervention for what is perfectly normal development.

Yeah you’re right. I’m a pretty stupid person.

OP posts:

gerbilcrocus · 15/04/2023 12:03

Yeah you’re right. I’m a pretty stupid person.

Not stupid, most caring parents are like this with their first borns. I remember thinking mine was slow too! By the time she's 2yo she'll have lots more words, and when she's 2 1/2 she'll probably be chatting away.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

gerbilcrocus · 15/04/2023 12:04

Oh and neither of mine had a clue about colours at 20 months...

SazCat · 15/04/2023 12:14

My eldest was hardly saying anything at 2, but 6 months later she really started and by 3 we couldn't shut her up 😂
My youngest is 2 next week and she says less than your list, not concerned though after experience with DD1. She definitely has good understanding though which I think is important!
Really don't worry, they all develop differently and in my experience, as a PP said, doesn't affect how they are in a few years!

Original poster

SpookyMom · 15/04/2023 19:22

gerbilcrocus · 15/04/2023 12:03

Yeah you’re right. I’m a pretty stupid person.

Sorry I don’t typically have a pity party on the internet. Dad passed away recently and I’m not in the best place at the moment.

OP posts:

Karatema · 15/04/2023 19:24

There is 10 months between my sister's DD and my DS. My DN was eloquent and was using complete sentences at 2; my son barely said Dad! He continued to struggle with his speech until he went to school. He is now a senior manager and has to advise his bosses at board meetings. At 2 don't worry. Obviously, if he doesn't appear to develop the get advice.

AllIwantforChristmas22 · 15/04/2023 19:25

My 19m old says 4 words!! 😂

I think she is fine OP, don’t stress.

Luckycatyellowsky · 15/04/2023 19:30

Y eldest child was speaking in full sentences by 2. My next child had less than twenty words - I remember as I was trying to add them up for the two year check. I was keen to ask the twenty word mark so include dubious words like moo or knok ( his name for milk!). My youngest is somewhere in between. It evens up eventually!

Marylou62 · 15/04/2023 19:50

OP..try not to worry..at my 3 yr olds check the HV asked how many words they could say..not many I said .He did stutter for a few months but by 4 he was off! He's 26 now, in a professional job and when I hear him talking to clients (wfh) I remember well my worry...
As long as they can understand I wouldn't worry too much...

Jenniferturkington · 15/04/2023 19:53

My ds was 19 months when dd was born. At that point he could only say ‘bear’.
He started getting lots of words after he turned two.
Both my daughters had quite a lot of words at 12 months.

Skybluepinky · 15/04/2023 20:08

Just keep talking to them, allow time for them to reply, when they use a shortening of the word repeat the correct word but don’t say “no it’s …. “

Comedycook · 15/04/2023 20:10

Sorry for you loss.

I wouldn't be worrying about your dcs speech...sounds fairly normal to me. You could ask your hv though if you're concerned.

gemloving · 15/04/2023 20:13

She sounds brilliant to me! Mine is 2 in 2 weeks and says about 10 words and I saw on his development questionnaire to fill out he's behind (I knew it anyway) but let's see what they say. I guess we'll have a re-review in 6 months.

He's typically developing in all other areas including receptive language + I have an older child so you tend to not overthink too much.

WhyArePiratesCalledPiratessss · 15/04/2023 20:15

At my daughters 2 year check the nurse(?) Was muttering about monitoring her as she wasn't talking. At all really.

Now... won't shut up. Its a stream if consciousness. When she learns a new word (gargantuan being the flavour of the month) everyone knows it.

Enjoy the quiet.

Holidaywwyd · 15/04/2023 20:15

Sorry about you dad OP. Don't worry, the speech sounds fine. 2 of my DC spoke less than 5 words by their 2nd birthday, the other one could hold a full conversation. By the time they turned 4 they were all fairly similar!

seasawz · 15/04/2023 20:18

Sounds similar to how my eldest was and actually it's normal. My subsequent children have all been much more advanced with their language as they've learned off one another. Now they're older you wouldn't know who had more words at a younger age.

Personally I don't think you have anything to worry about at all.

Howmanymiles · 15/04/2023 20:22

I have stressed about my child’s speech a lot, and have spent a lot of time researching so here are some things to take away that may help. I just want to stress here your child sounds totally normal.

there is a huge, vast, massive, enormous (you get the idea I am sure!) variation in children’s speech between the ages of 18 months - 3.
this can be seen in the contradictory info online. If you follow the NHS guidance, your child will be expected to be saying fifty words by her second birthday. She’s nearly halfway there.
Speech comes on very rapidly and suddenly. You will feel like you’re stuck on twenty words for ages but then suddenly they’ll learn ten in two days.
.Understanding is more important than speech at this age. Even if your child is ‘below average’ in the words they can say it isn’t a cause for concern if their understanding is good
It is unlikely to be that you haven’t spent enough time reading or talking to them. We all have mum guilt but please don’t stress about this.

Things that I have found helped:

ditching the dummy if you have one
encouraging my ds to say the word, he can be lazy and would point at his cup and say uh. Now I say ‘can we try to say the word?’ He is older than yours though so don’t stress if they can’t, I think it’s just about encouraging them to have a go.
it is so tedious but lots of nursery rhymes have really helped here
this can be very hard to do given height differences but it can be helpful if they can see your lips move.
morning cuddles in bed was when ds learned eyes, hair, head, ears, cheeks, chin, neck. I figured if I was going to be grabbed I might as well teach him something.

i really hope some of the above reassures you and I’m so sorry about your Dad.

ApplePie20 · 15/04/2023 20:30

There is a vast difference at 20 months. I know in my NCT group some DC were speaking in sentences and some barely had 5 words at circa 2 yo. At 3 they have all mostly levelled out and it’s far less noticeable.

romdowa · 15/04/2023 20:33

That all sounds normal for her age but if you are worried then contact your health visitor.
My son has a hearing loss and our speech and language therapist has given us a few tips to help their speech.

leave a pause after asking a question, to allow them time to answer

-when they gesture for something, even if you know what it is, ask them to tell you,leave a pause and if no answer , then say what they want. Like oh you what the teddy. -lots and lots of describing things and just talking in general to them. Since starting with her my son has come on so much.

Bellaphant · 16/04/2023 08:20

Two things: speech leaps seem to happen literally overnight, my 22 month old went to bed with a similar list of words and woke up trying to make sentences "where's dadda?", "Micah asleep!" Etc. This happened for my eldest too.

Second, I was told when modeling speech, to always add to what they know: so they say 'kitty cat', from your list, you say 'yes, kitty cat is going /fast/' or 'this apple is from the fridge, chilly apple, brrrr!'. It definitely helped my DD use adjectives, which I think are another building block in sentences

Original poster

SpookyMom · 16/04/2023 14:51

Bellaphant · 16/04/2023 08:20

Thank you that is really helpful information. This morning she woke up and started chanting “Up up doooooowwwnnn.” and demonstrating with her arms. One of the characters in her shows says this. Lol so I guess I really did just need to trust in the universe a little more as she’s never said up or down. Though it sounds more like she’s saying dooooonne. 😆 I’m sure she will continue to surprise us.

Another pp mentioned children learn off of each other. I didn’t think of that. She is a first born and her cousins live quite far away so she hasn’t gotten much contact with other children over the winter so I suppose that the kids speaking in full sentences on the playground just had a slight advantage because they had other siblings or cousins to spend time with.

I’m sure she will catch up in no time.

OP posts:

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