Baby doesn’t want to eat -do I give up now?

[K2012]

Good afternoon everyone

FTM. Baby is almost 11 months, started weaning around 6 months and it’s been a nightmare since.

Baby is formula fed, still has about 6 bottles in a day and sometimes wakes up for a feed in the night. He will have all his milk, but doesn’t want to eat. We have tried all different fruit and vegetable pouches and even mashed vegetables at home but he will literally have a few spoons in the afternoon and evening rarely anything in the morning.

He’s also gagging a lot (where it looks like food is getting stuck in his throat and he starts vomiting and looks sick) and it scares the hell out of me. I spoke to health visitor about a month ago who said I should do baby led weaning but honestly I’m too afraid to do that because of all the gagging and I’m scared he will choke.

I have tried not to give his milk and see if he’ll have more food he will just cry and not eat and cry untill he gets his milk.

This is a nightmare. What do I do? Do I give up now?

Health visitor said she’ll probably come and see him within the next 5-6 weeks.

Have you tried putting mashed/pureed food in front of him and letting him play with it? It'll get all over his hands and he may just lick some off. Giving him finger foods might also spark his interest in a way that spoon feeding doesn't.

Gagging is a normal part of weaning but there is a balance to be struck and of it's repeatedly leading to vomiting it would seem something about your current approach isn't working. Finger foods won't necessarily make him gag in the same way - it can be the little chunks in the pouches etc that cause that response.

Ultimately if he continues to struggle to swallow food he may need some investigations to see if there are any issues with his mouth/tongue/throat, and to determine whether he has a sensory aversion to food. Personally I'd say it's a bit early for that but if HV is coming soon they can advise then.

Honestly it sounds like his mouth and the muscles he needs to chew aren’t developed enough yet, hence the gagging - and it’s no wonder as he’s been used to drinking predominantly milk- I would bite the bullet and try baby led weaning so that this can hopefully improve.

Read up on baby led weaning, they need the different textures/tastes etc to develop the ability to eat, they choke less when they can feed themselves.

Don't worry about quantity, more variety at this stage. But please do read up on it so you feel less anxious as they can pick it up from you

Gagging is normal when babies are weaning, they need to learn how to chew properly & all babies do it, it's not the same as choking though. As PP suggested letting baby play with foods, giving finger foods like toast soldiers should be good & take HV advice.
If you are worried about choking I'd suggest doing a paediatric first aid course so that you will know how to deal if any real choking happens & good for all parents to know how to deal with the many accidents which will happen once baby is mobile

He might not like the puree - dc3 always gagged with puree, I think it was a texture thing. Make a soft meal - boiled / steamed veg, sliced chicken, boiled/mash potato or rice and let him have a go. Things like cottage pie and pasta bake and "sloppy" meals are good too, as they are unlikely to cause any choking! Also for breakfast you could try porridge, yoghurt, scrambled eggs. Keep offering and he will get the hang of it eventually!

Try some very easy to eat finger foods like grated cheese or apple if you're very scared of choking and you can work your way up to bigger things.

We had a similar issue then worked out that she would only eat if we put stuff on her tray and let her get on with it. She is 1 next week and absolutely loves her food now but before we went completely baby led (and started pottering around the kitchen rather than sitting in front of her trying to encourage her to eat) she would cry and get hysterical and not eat a thing, then we would get stressed and I think she picked up on that.

Thank you for all the replies and suggestions. I will read up on baby led weaning 👍🏻

@K2012 it's not entirely surprising that he gags a lot if he's not had the chance to learn what to do with food in his mouth.

Give this page about resistive foods, teethers and mouth mapping a read. Solid Starts is such an excellent resource for weaning, based on science.

https://solidstarts.com/why-we-love-resistive-sticks-of-foods-for-babies-starting-solids/

(they also give advice on gagging/choking and what to do in those situations. Not the same as a live course but better than nothing!)

Another vote for baby led weaning. My DC hated being spoon fed. I thihhht she wasn't into solid food. That wasn't the case - she just wanted finger food, and to be in control. She still had loads of milk but also liked feeding herself. So messy and lots wasted but a big aha moment when I realised that way would work.

You could try one of the little net dummy things that you put soft food like banana into.

It gives him the chance to chew and gnaw at food but you will know it's soft for him to swallow.

Otherwise just as per the previous posters.

Things DD really liked were omelette, grated cheese, pancakes, buttery toast fingers, boiled carrot sticks, brocolli and cauliflower florets steamed or boiled till softened.

So he hasn’t had any “proper” foods? I would move away from the purées and things and just give finger foods or a bit of what your having.

he needs to be able to explore the textures so lots of sensory play will probably help too

He probably isn't hungry as he's having so much milk. Try reducing the milk feeds to morning, after morning nap, after afternoon nap and bedtime.

Once he starts eating more then you can drop the post afternoon nap feed and increase dinner size.

Then eventually drop the post morning nap feed and your left with 3 proper meals and bottle only on waking and bedtime.

Sorry I somehow missed that bit about not giving him milk, so I see you have tried, but you probably do need to persist a bit.

To help with the anxiety around choking, then try him on the Ella's melty sticks. He's not going to choke on those.

They are nutritionally devoid but good for just helping you break the cycle.

Also make him porridge, but blend the oats beforehand so its extra smooth. That's always a winner.

@K2012
how did you eventually get on? Is your little one eating now? We are in a similar boat looking for hope and feeling very overwhelmed and defeated.

any hope would be grand x

@Seeema2902

I don’t even remember writing this topic 😅

He’s a lot better now, fussy eater but he eats. My anxiety is also a lot better now that I’ve seen he can eat without gagging. It’ll take time.

How old is your little one? I’d suggest you contact your health worker for advice and read some of the links in this topic.