I could really do with some preschooler help please

[cpphelp]

Hi everyone,

I am at breaking point, and I'm crushed. My husband went away Monday and is back tomorrow (work), my three children went to preschool today and yesterday, but still I have ZERO patience, and now they are all in bed and I hate myself for it.

It's just constant "Mum, mum, mum" and repeat - "no, I don't want that, I want a banana" - we've run out of bananas, so I offer everything else in the whole house.
Stamping of feet, arguing with each other, a massive strop because I won't let one watch you tube at breakfast - we don't watch screens at meal times unless someone is ill and I'm desperate for them to eat.
Breakfast is genuinely like a buffet experience they have so many demands, and I CANNOT deal with the screaming and tantrums when I say no to things. I honestly have wanted to smash my head against a wall this week multiple times, and have tried so hard not to shout "JUST GET DRESSED" at my four year old it's unreal - but then I scream it in my head and I'm so angry and frustrated.

Can anyone please recommend practical help or consequences I can try for behaviour?

I'm thinking - fruit bowl for instance for snacks (but then they will completely go mad on fruit and not eat meals),
Leaving glasses by the sink so they can pour their own drinks - I do think this would be successful.

Any other suggestions? I'm not feeling good right now, and I really want to be better with them.

Usually we have a really busy schedule - Monday preschool (bank hol this Monday), Tuesday Rugbytots and swimming lessons, Wednesday and Thursday preschool (last Thursday was an inset day which I don't think has helped) and Fridays we plan as we go - tomorrow I've agreed babychinos and cake in town and a park, Saturdays tennis and Sundays football. My husband is very hands on when he's home, and I am a SAHM.

Due to Easter hols, only swimming lessons have been on and I've been pulling my hair out

I have one who's 4, and twin 3yr olds. All December born.

Feel for you. Not easy having 3 young kids. I think time will improve things for you but here are my suggestions for what they're worth (teacher mum of 3yo and 6m):

• snack basket for the day, kids can eat when they want but once they're gone, they're gone
• 1 hour of screentime in the afternoon (or whatever). 2mins off this time as consequence for misbehaviour e.g. fight or rude. Have each child's reward time displayed on a whiteboard to keep track / manage expectations.
• don't give options at meals, present food on plate. They can eat it or not but don't engage in demands for other options. Say this is how we do things now. Will take time / be difficult
• I like the pour your own drinks. I've seen people use a big party drinks dispenser for their kids. You know the type you'd full with pimms and has a little tap.

I totally empathise with WILL YOU GET DRESSED 🤣 I don't have an answer for that one.

Thank you @pinksquash13, this is JUST the kind of advice I'm looking for, and also I appreciate the solidarity!

Yes, I know what you mean, the massive Kilner type jars, I think they'd enjoy that.

I'm making a list of your stuff to go through with husband tomorrow afternoon - particularly like the two mins off screen time agreement for behaviour. Excellent. Thank you