Hi,
I gave birth to my son almost 6 weeks ago. I’ve had a complicated relationship with his father for a few years. He hasn’t always made the best decisions, and has been involved with the police, naively I didn’t really realise the severity of some of his actions until more recently.
He has been part of his sons life seeing him in my house regularly, and I’ve had contact with social services and I am very much following their advice.
I love my son so much, I would do anything for him. I want to protect him, and I am just racked with guilt. Guilt that my son will have to deal with this, he didn’t ask for any of it.
I’m trying very hard to put on a front, but I feel like all I want to do is hide and cry. I’m scared to tell anyone how I feel in fear that they’ll think I’m not coping or that SS will take my son. I feel so anxious, and I feel like because of all of this I’m just not getting to enjoy my son as much as I want to.
I know the first few weeks are difficult, and a learning curve, but I feel like this is something more and I don’t know what to do for the best.