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Losing identity in motherhood advice needed

1 reply

Calmondeck · 13/04/2023 13:41

Hi fellow mums,

Not really sure how to word this…

DH, DC and I live a 23hr flight from grandparents. DC1 has cancer, DC2 arriving July. I am trying to work as full time as possible (for financial reasons) but am taking every bit of leave possible to support DC1 through chemo and other hospitalisations. Sometimes we are in a hospital isolation room for 3-4 days at a time. DC1, 22 months old, only learnt to sleep 2 weeks ago, and we still have multiple bad nights.

Mostly because of chronic sleep deprivation, I feel like I’ve become a shell of my former self. I’m scared to begin this next phase of sleep deprived life with a newborn in a few short months. I didn’t know DC1 had cancer when I became pregnant with DC2.

My parents want to “support” me by visiting, which in my mum’s mind means flying over the month before I give birth (in the hope I give birth early and she gets to attend), and my dad to visit after the birth for a month. DH doesn’t want either of them to come at all. My parents are so well-meaning but their visits are mostly because their marriage is very unstable and spending time with ME (not DC1 or DH) is enjoyable for them.

How do I turn my mindset around? Get excited for this next baby instead of dreading the impact on our sleep? How does anyone carve out any time for themselves?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
pjani · 13/04/2023 16:58

This sounds like such a gruelling situation to be in, I really feel for you. I can’t imagine what it felt like to hear DC1s diagnosis.

Can you let some of your FT work lapse ie go part time (let your parents offer some financial support???) and take time for yourself to sleep, read, swim, relax however you most prefer it while your partner - you don’t mention a partner, do you have one? - is with DC1?

I feel like you really need to look after yourself right now as you being ok is really important to DC1 and DC2.

Also, what about some therapy? Can you access some through the hospital? I bet you could could really use a cry and a vent with someone neutral.

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