1 year old waking screaming at night

[TealOwl]

My 12 month old, who had been sleeping well through the night, has recently started to wake screaming, multiple times at night. I suspect the problem is that he has dropped one nap during the day sooner than he’s ready, but as hard as we’ve tried we can’t seem to get him to nap twice as he just will stay awake for such long periods during the day. Since he was a tiny baby his time awake between naps has always been way longer than the “wake windows” recommended, but there’s simply no making him nap if he isn’t ready to nap. If he naps at all past about 2:30pm Eg if we’re in the car, there’s no hope of him going to bed at 8pm. He is always about to danger nap in the car after 5pm when picked up from daycare which does make me think he’s not quite ready for just one nap.

Routine is up at 7am, nap from around 11am-12:30/1pm, bed at 7:30 or 8pm.
He has started to really resist bedtime, screaming and sitting up as soon as he’s laid down, then will eventually fall asleep to then repeat this at 11pm, 2am, 4am and so on. Nothing we do during the night will console him other than lifting him out of the cot, to which he’ll be wide awake then for ages.

He eats well during the day at each mealtime, is offered something to eat before bed so it’s not hunger. He’s learning to walk so not sure if that’s contributing, he’s teething but this nighttime disruption would carry on even if I’ve given calpol before bed for teeth. I’m at a loss and feel I’ve tried everything, nobody is getting the sleep they need. DH is sitting in there now with him but I know as soon as he puts him back in the cot that relentless screaming will start again. He was sleep trained at 9 months and that only took one night before his sleep was then brilliant, sleep training now doesn’t seem to work as he would cry for hours if you let him (which we don’t).

So I just was hoping for advice or at least someone to tell me this is a phase that’ll pass! DH and I are at our wits end.

Sleep is usually distrusted when there's a developmental leap, such as learning to walk. However it could be the nap thing. I would shift nap time a bit later to midday and see what happens.

My second was very similar, she never had the right amount of sleep waking and dropped everything early. I kept her in a sling for naps until she was 9mo as it was the only way she'd sleep. Is he eating enough? I always found that when mine ate less they didn't sleep as well.

Yeah he eats very well, has a good big breakfast lunch and dinner with a couple of snacks and a couple of bottles as well. He’s unfortunately too big and heavy to carry around in a sling for any amount of time, he’s more the size of an 18mo tbh. Will try to push the nap to midday if I can, it’s hard for me to have much control over naps on the days I work as he goes to daycare some days and my MIL for one day, they all do try to stretch the nap but if he’s ready for it at 11 and getting cranky they’ll put him down for it then and I feel I can’t really say anything!

Hi @TealOwl my DS went through this for a few weeks when learning to crawl then later walk. I found it really hard because whatever I had done previously to get him sleep well wasn't working and it made me feel like a failure. Even when he started sleeping through again I'd wake to check the camera just in case so I made myself worse!
It did pass though.
Sending strength and energy, most of all sending patience 😊

@firstbabyworries Yeah it does make me feel like a failure too. Tonight already I’ve had to go in to him countless times since bedtime at 8pm, and normally this would be the best stretch until about 11pm at the moment. Doesn’t bode well for the rest of the night

It’s the hysterical crying that concerns me most! A bit of fussing or grizzling would be normal but he thrashes around the cot screaming when he wakes, and just goes from sleeping to that inside a second. He’s had calpol tonight before bed in case of teething pain. He ate a roast chicken dinner tonight followed by a yoghurt. He’s had absolutely no tv today. His nappy is clean. Before bed he was happy but sleepy, cuddling into me and yawning, I took him to bed and he fell straight asleep before waking screaming 25 mins later. He’s too young for nightmares/night terrors right? What else could it be?

Should add though he stops crying immediately when picked up, which reassures me that he probably isn’t in any sort of pain or unwell

Oh bless you. I do hope the night got better. Could it be he just wants you? I know a lot of people say that he'll need sleep training etc, we tried this but I couldn't stick the wailing and screaming so I cuddled until he didn't need it anymore. It was exhausting and frustrating. At those points I hated being a mum.
My DS just stopped doing it on his own. I think if you've tried calpol and he settles as soon as you go in it's probably that he just wants reassurance.
I read something about separation anxiety and them learning that you're not always there. That alongside them learning so much it's tough on them, more so on us too!
Sending happy thoughts. Have coffee!

Is he showing signs of teething? I've found neurofen better for teething pain.

His nap routine does sound quite low for his age. Have you tried even just a 10 minute nap at around 9/9.30? Then longer nap (2 hours ideally) around 12.30/1? You could also try putting him to bed a bit earlier?

Our 20 month old sleeps 7.15 - 6.30 ish and has a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day still.

He eventually fell asleep around 10pm and slept until 7:30am 🎉

Yes he’s been cutting teeth one after the other the past couple of weeks so it could be another on its way, but I think separation anxiety is probably the biggest factor here. Just will ride it out as a phase, thanks everyone it’s good to hear that we aren’t the only ones!