Challenging 7 week old, am I worrying too much here?

[rosemarycait96]

I'm sure this thread has been posted a million times before but I'm really struggling here.

7 week old son is colicky and has terrible reflux, and fights every single daytime nalp. I've honestly lost count of the number of times he's spat milk up today and he has barely stopped crying since lunch time. It's been the same for weeks now. He doesn't settle in the Caboo sling, the pram, car seat or on me. It's getting worse each day.

I'll add though that his night time sleep has been great. He sleeps 1-3 hour stretches at night from 10pm-7am. I'm EBF and loving it. He is a smiley little boy and a bloody delight on a good day. My husband is a star and helps whenever he can, night or day.

But the near constant crying and unsettled behaviour is getting me down. It's stopping me leaving the house because he cries almost constantly the entire time. I don't drive and live in a small village so getting the bus is a must if I want to go anywhere.

I have to take him to his 6 week GP check on the bus tomorrow and I'm dreading it. We start baby massage next week too, dreading that also as I have no idea how we'll make it through the class without a screaming fit. I can feel people's eyes on me when I'm in public with him, I can't stand the worry that we're bothering everyone with his crying and that people feel sorry for me or think I'm a bad mum.

I don't even know what I'm asking, i suppose. Does it matter that he throws a fit in public all the time? Am I being inconsiderate by taking him on the bus when I know he'll disturb everyone? Does it ever get better? How do I find ways to cope?

This is all so much harder than I thought it would be. Breastfeeding and playtime with him is the only bit I'm enjoying, everything else is a real slog and I can feel my anxiety taking over my mind!

goodness, I feel for you. I remit well 😴

My little boy was the same, but also same at night time
I exclusively BF and he ended up bringing up bright yellow stomach bile poor poppet. Eventually was tested for allergies at hospital and had dairy allergy. I had to cut all dairy out of my diet as well as onions, tomatoes and anything that was acidic as that also made his reflux worse. We ended up on medication from the hospital. It eases things, although not totally!
if things don’t settle maybe speak to doctor about getting gaviscon for babies and go from there. It may be that babies reflux is bad enough to warrant medication.
good luck with everything, it’s so tiring for you

*remember it well 🙈

You poor thing. Having a miserable baby is the pits. If I were you I would definitely head out as at least it's distraction from the screaming. Damn what others think. Head held high. If the screaming on the bus bothers you, time for a tactical breastfeed, even if you know it'll just lead to another bout of vomiting.

I'll say this very gently but baby could also be picking up on your worries and frustrations, making him more likely to cry because he doesn't understand why mums so stressed out.

Babies are hard, they are and you're doing a brilliant job. But if it gets to the point where nothing has worked and he's still crying and you feel yourself getting worked up, pop him somewhere safe (cot, moses basket) and go make a brew. You'll feel much calmer once it's made. Let him cry for 2 minutes. It won't harm him in any way whatsoever, and it gives you a chance to recoup and calm down and stop the anxiety in its tracks before going back and trying to comfort him again.

Also, people will probably just be thinking they remember being in the same situation with their children. I don’t think they will be judging you at all.
sounds like your doing an amazing job

Sounds like you're in the midst of those very challenging first few months so you have my total sympathy!!

Whilst mine wasnt quite as colicky, he definitely struggled with wind and reflux up until about week 10 (infacol, upright time, and sharing night shifts just about got us through!)

People kept telling me it would settle down around 12 weeks and I clung onto that like a mantra - I know thats not the case for all babies but thankfully it did seem to be a turning point for us... worth speaking to the GP about it too though maybe they can rule out milk allergies or other things Ive seen mentioned on here that have caused colic?

Sorry probably not best advice but...solidarity you sound like youre doing a great job!!

He's only a little baby - people won't mind him crying in public. It sounds louder to you and stresses you out but imagine you were on a bus and another new baby cried - you wouldn't mind at all. My first was refluxy too. It got better at 12 weeks.

Thanks everyone for the advice (and commiserations)! I will definitely be pressing the GP for some investigations re: possible allergies and help with the reflux. Infacol I'm not sure has made any difference.

Just trying to psyche myself up for the trip to the appointment tomorrow! I'm self conscious at the best of times so will have to summon a lot of confidence. It's only our second time out together without my husband.

Keep telling myself it'll get easier one day. Just don't know when.

It definitely does get better, hang in there! Like PP said, people in public will understand it's a newborn baby and any parents will absolutely sympathise.

Also, don't feel like you absolutely have to go to things like baby massage if you're stressing about it.

Definitely share the gory details with the GP, in case it's something other than colic. Has he been checked for a tongue tie by someone experienced? Sometimes baby physio can help.

Don't worry about a baby crying in public, all we are thinking is "Oh I remember those days!" And it will pass.

@Iheartsummertime he's never been checked for tongue tie, I had assumed he'd have difficulty feeding if that was the issue for him? He did have trouble establishing a latch due to a ventouse delivery/traumatic birth but we got there within a few days and feeding itself is a breeze now, reflux aside. I suppose it's worth asking about?

I was genuinely excited to be going to baby classes tbh, I just didn't anticipate the temperament of my particular baby being a factor! Luckily I have two friends doing that same class so I won't be alone, but I still worry he'll kick off and I won't be able to soothe him.

Both of mine were screamers at that age with 5-9 weeks being the hardest period. It isn't their 'temperament' or 'character'. It's just what a lot of babies that age do. It can't be 'fixed' - they just grow into a new phase every few weeks.
I urge you to keep going out and seeing people and doing things for yourself. Even if for no other reason than to make these difficult weeks pass more quickly.

Go to GP to get some medicine for him for the reflux if you haven't already. My baby has horrible reflux and has been on gaviscon and omeprazole for most of his life. Hoping things get easier for you OP. Don't worry, people won't be judging you on this bus, as others have said they will likely be feeling bad for you as they will remember how hard it was to have to deal with a crying baby in public

Cancel the bloody baby massage!

Do things for you.

Babies love being dragged along to stuff you want to do. Go to Zara and look at clothes, just hold him in your arms while you do it.

Go to Starbucks and drink a wonderful coffee whilst gazing at his eyes and jumping him up and down and showing him the interesting patterns on the walls.

Go for a walk down the street with him in the buggy and ignore his crying while you nosy at the for sale signs on your street, then go home and focus on him.

Babies are a weird process. Designed to make you super aware of your own needs and your ability to meet others. Both are important

Tongue tie can cause reflux and spitting up even if they are getting enough milk, as they can be swallowing air too. This gives them wind (and pain, so more crying) It's just something to rule out. Not everyone can see them, maybe look for breastfeeding support. Any spluttering when feeding, unlatching or blister on upper lip?

@rosemarycait96 what are his poos like? Just wondering if CMPA could be possible?