2yr olds lack of speech- help/ positive stories needed

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Not quite sure what I’m after, reassurance perhaps that my child will speak on her accord. Advice to help her along

2.5yr old just speaks the odd word (and I mean a few, less than 30), doesn’t put words together- she can though sing words together (twinkle twinkle, the whole waffle dog theme tune etc), but never says two words together (except for “bye bye daddy, hello mummy”.)
She only just started nursery and I feel
incredibly guilty that perhaps her later start at childcare is the reason. She understands and responds to instruction but will not say words.
The tantrums are awful and I know it’s because she can’t communicate.
We try to repeat words back to her, she doesn’t sit long enough to read books/ flash cards for long with, but of course we try and she’s around when we read with her sister (5).
Suggestions? Any positive stories that she will suddenly start talking?

Hi OP, our DS was very slow to talk (diagnosed language delay). Now he’s 4 he’s largely caught up and is happier with life- far fewer emotional complications. Have you had her speech and language assessed by a professional? And had her hearing checked? The GP or health visitor will be able to help but you may need to explore private options if you want support fairly quickly as NHS waiting lists are very long for speech and language therapy.

She'll almost certainly be fine, but as pp said speak to your HV, they should refer for a hearing test first and then you may get onto a waiting list for speech therapy. It's always worth getting the ball rolling with these things because they take so long.

In the meantime, talk to her constantly. Clear, short sentences. Describe what you're doing/what she's doing/label things, just talk, talk, talk. Repetition is key too. For example:

It's time to put our shoes on now.

Let's get the shoes.

Where are the shoes?

I'm going to put my shoes on.

Oh look big sister is putting her shoes on.

Now it's time to put your shoes on.

We all have our shoes on

Now we have our shoes on we can go to the park.

Turn the TV/radio off so there isn't any background noise detracting from the speech she can hear. It's fine to watch a bit of TV, but don't leave it on as a constant background noise, either engage with it or turn it off. Try and make eye contact and be at her level as much as possible. If you use a buggy and it can be parent facing turn it that way so you can chat when you're out and about, face to face and at eye level.

Leave space for her to talk, but don't put pressure on her by asking her to say things/repeat things.

My first born also was slow to talk. Everything was on track until 1 and then he just stopped babbling or making sounds (this did coincide with lockdown). Between 1 and 3 years I was so stressed that he wasn't speaking. And as you have experienced, the tantrums are extreme because they are so frustrated. I don't think we always dealt with it that well as we felt overwhelmed and would shout 'use your words' (but he didn't have any words to use😥)Definitely contact speech and language therapy if that is an option for you because they can offer advice. We were told to wait and observe (as well as all the reading, narrating life etc) and his speech did start to develop slowly but surely. He's nearly 5 now and he has completely caught up with his peers. He still struggles to verbally express his feelings but it is getting there. He told me about a dream the other night and he said it gave him a feeling of sadness inside which was real progress.

My daughter was the same, she is 8 now and can talk the leg off a donkey, she does have some language delay and gets support from a speech and language service but it doesn't hamper her every day life, try not to stress and as the other poster has mentioned, talk to her all the time and be repetitive, name everything you do.

Thank you all, think I’ll start the ball rolling by calling the HV. I’m conscious that waiting lists are probably through the roof, I’ll Google to see if any semi reasonable private options.

I always respond on these threads because 14 years ago I was worrying about the same thing!

My son had NO words on his 2nd birthday, never babbled, didn't wave but did point at things and never sang or mixed with other toddlers properly. My best friends baby started talking at 6 months old and they were the same age so I was really concerned.

I spoke to health visitor who referred him to speech therapy. We had 1 appt and she said she had no concerns because he clearly understood what was being said to him. She advised just to give a constant running commentary throughout the day and if things didn't improve by 3 come back. Well they did improve, can't remember exactly when but all of a sudden he grasped it. Definitely by the time he went to school he was at the same level as his peers.

My 3 dds all had speech delays. My two younger dds really didn’t talk until they were 4+ years. So I have a lot of experience with SALT. My one piece of advice is, only accept individual speech therapy. Dd2 had group therapy, and it was a complete waste of time. With dd3 I said that I would not accept group therapy, and the SALT agreed with me.

I did get a little irritated by other parents telling me how early their children had talked, “but of course, they talked to them all the time.” Maybe I shouldn’t have locked up my little darlings in the cupboard under the stairs a la Harry Potter.

FWIW, my dds all went on to speak perfectly (albeit with an estuary accent ), pass their 11+, and in the case of my eldest, graduate last year with a first from a RG university!

Same boat here. He's 2 at the end of the month but only a few single words but no concerns otherwise. We have our 2 year review next week, so will be good to speak to a health visitor, I can imagine we'll have a follow up in 6 months and if no improvement we'll be referred to speech and language. I have an older child who was slower to speak but not this slow.

I remember being so worried about this with my daughter. She barely made a sound, didn't babble as a baby and made odd noises almost like an old cassette player rewinding all the time the like of which the speech therapist had never heard of seen! But now she's nearly 4 and a chatterbox- despite the world and his wife commenting on how she never made a sound
I did get on to the health visitor about it for hearing check etc pretty early so I would definitely recommend that because if there is a need for therapy better to get on it sooner rather than later but my little one never actually needed it as she spoke in her own sweet time!

My DS is also 2.5 years and has speech delay, he is slowly improving and is starting to say 3 words together. I found talking to him when we are doing activities together at home like a commentary helps.

He watches MS Rachel on YouTube who teaches first words and sentences.

I had sleepless nights over my DGD's lack of speech, and that her attempts to tell me stuff or to communicate with other children were just incomprehensible babble. I funded some private speech therapy and it all came together in a rush as she hit 3...some natural speech development combined with the therapy. Now she can tell me all her news and make herself understood really well. She'll continue with the SALT as she still tends to rush and gabble and there are blends that need work. But I'm so relieved that she can now communicate with us and with other children.
If you can find the money for private SALT (or have kind relatives who might help) it's well worth it at this age. It's such a fundamental time for speech development and socialisation.

Seconding the hearing check - my youngest was tremendously behind his talking and all interventions failed until we realised he had the world's highest tonsils and adenoids! He had a small op at three and at seven never shuts up!

My son who is 3 in 2 weeks is the same, health visitor referred us to SALT who came out and looked at him in nursery and agreed he is delayed but questioned his hearing, he was referred to audiology via pediatrician ( he already sees pediatrician for other conditions) they said he has glue ear quite badly in both ears, referred him on to ENT to be seen about grommets, the waiting list is around 10 months, SALT continue to see him in nursery/playschool and said to add words on to single words ( big bus, blue ball ect)

OP, if you do want to investigate the private route, Google ASLTIP (Association of Speech and Language Therapists in Independent Practice). You can search for SLTs in your local area, and you're looking for someone who specialises in Early Years. Speak to your HV about an NHS referral too, but waiting lists are often horrendous as others have said

My ds spoke barely a word until he was 3. By the time he was 3.5 i couldn't shut him up! Now at 7 he never stops talking. They all get there in their own time.

My DS has just turned 4. He has a speech delay. Says nouns, but very little expressive language - you can’t have a conversation with him, doesn’t understand simple questions. He’s drawn to letters and numbers, is starting to read and I’m find this very useful to encourage him to link words, understand the structure of a sentence. Speech Therapy has been the most useful agency. He’s also had a couple of appointments with Developmental Paediatrics. I’m hoping to get his EHCP finalised before he starts school in September. I started getting him assessed early, he now has a PECS book which helps him communicate. My advice would be to feel no shame, start any balls rolling, the support has been great and really benefitted him - and if he does ‘catch up’ - I can withdraw the support. Everything takes a loooong time - particularly the EHCP. So I don’t think there is any problem with starting sooner rather than later. There is LOTS of great advice out there, I’ve found all his sessions incredibly useful and have really benefited him. I can see DS has a different view of the world to what might be considered the ‘norm’, but I think this should be celebrated and accepted. He’s acquisition of language is unique, and I’m learning a lot from him. Breaking things into very small steps - using very basic key words, widgets and PECS pictures are very useful tools. A few simple Makaton actions help too (which, more).

I started the ball rolling by contacting my health visitor. She sent me an age related questionnaire and it very clear that I could tick very few boxes for communication. This prompted a hearing assessment, and from that - speech therapy.

Look up Hannen’s ‘it takes two to talk’. It’s a great SLAT advice program for that age. definitely get her hearing checked too.
As a speech therapist the main trying I see that parents do that isn’t too helpful is asking a lot of questions ‘what’s this?’ ‘what are you doing?’ ‘what colour is this?’ Etc
my advice is really try to ask fewer questions. Instead of ‘what’s this?’ Say ‘look it’s a… ‘ then pause and say the word yourself if she doesn’t. Instead of ‘what are you doing?’ Type questions use statements about what they are doing ‘your jumping’ ‘the car goes crash’ ‘big splash’ etc. narrate her play using slow, simple short sentences. Instead of trying to encourage her to speak encourage her to interact in people games like ‘ready steady go’ and ‘peek a boo’.
Talk a lot but give lots of pauses and gaps for her to speak or interact if she wants to.

Missed my main point which was the vast majority of children of her age who are a bit behind catch up. But keep an eye out for signs of communication difficulties like Autism and for other developmental delays.

Going to a nursery earlier wouldn’t have improved yr child talking, home environment is better for encouraging talking.
As long as you have spent yr time interacting with them, u have done the best for them.
Try not to overthink it, children develop at different rates. Keep talking to yr child and allow them time to answer. Seek help from yr HV for S&L help.

This is so so helpful thank you all.
Ive reached out the the HV team/ Speech and Therapy department- also googled the private speech therapy website someone kindly pointed me to too.
It’s helpful to know many people have been through this and it hasn’t spelled a lifelong issue.

Hi OP

DD was like this, and then she went completely silent for two days and I was in tears thinking it was a regression, and then she suddenly burst with speech!

Her issue is slightly different - she knows hundreds of nouns but didnt know how to make conversation with them, she didnt ask for anything, didnt make observations etc. She then literally overnight started saying 'More juice please mummy'.

We started by getting her ears checked, and we also paid for private speech therapy which we begin next week.

Its always worth asking for an experts opinion, some kids just need a little nudge!

I find it helps to narrate every single thing you do in 2/3 word sentences to start.

Every child is different. Our DS wasn't saying proper words even at 3; I have a video of him on his 3rd birthday just babbling away with some vague approximations but mostly just noises. Yet at 4 he comes out with amazing vocabulary all the time in complex sentences. Sometimes there isn't an S&L issue, they're just 'late' talkers.

My son was exactly the same, with the delayed speech and tantrums due to frustration. He started nursery at around 14 months and that early exposure didn't stop his speech delay from occurring. At age 2, he was only just getting green on the 9-12 months expectations on the WellComm assessment. Nursery did a speech therapy referral around his second birthday. He's 4 next month and we've just had an email to say he is nearing the top of the list for 1-1 therapy.

His speech started to improve around his third birthday. We knew what he was saying but lots of others didn't. Now he's almost 4, and whilst he is definitely still behind his peers, his language is so much more improved. His main problem is "backing". He pronounces letters that should be produced at the front of the mouth (such as D, T, R) at the back, so says gaggy for daddy, replaced his Rs with Ys (he pronounces red as yem - "my yem car"). This is what he's awaiting on the 1-1 therapy for. He was seen by the SALT Team in November 2022 for the assessment after being referred in May 2021, and from that November appointment, he was placed on the waiting list for backing therapy.

If her nursery haven't already, ask them to do a WellComm assessment and make the referral. There's such a huge waiting list and it's really beneficial for them to be seen before they start school. At 2.5, school feels a long way off, but it comes around very quickly when on a waiting list.

My son is doing so much better than he was two years ago and I can have a full conversation with him now, but that's because I understand the replacements he makes, or the letters that he drops because he can't think of a replacement that sounds similar. To help him, I talk a lot. I narrate what he's doing (as advised by the SALT team when first placed on the waiting list). "Now he's got the blue block and he's putting it on the orange block / he's making a tower / we are walking to the bathroom" etc. We also do lots of story time and as well as reading the words, we describe the scene in the picture and as time has progressed, he's now taken over describing the picture.

It takes time, but they do get better (and then they don't shut up )

What @NuffSaidSam said. I am NOT a speech professional but I’ve worked with some through my job and their advice is it is all about listening not speaking itself.

So focus on talking/communicating with her.
Make eye contact.
Narrate what you’re doing.
Make fun noises with her toys like “mooing” for a cow or “brrrm” for a car.

The idea is not to focus on getting her to repeat words back to you but to give her lots of opportunities to hear words. Singing and nursery rhymes are great - you can pause to see if she fills in words but don’t pressure her to do so.

2 is still very young, there is lots of time for her to catch up.